Capricorn: You face great disappointment when you find out the - TopicsExpress

Capricorn: You face great disappointment when you find out the voices in your head have a better social life than you. One of the voices saw Jersey Boys this past weekend....Man, that is one great show. Aquarius: Trust me: Skywriting is no way to find you that you have chlamydia. Make sure that you check the correct box for how the clinic is supposed to contact you with the results. Pisces: You are AWESOME...by a standard that would consider 95% of people awesome. Aries: No one can replace you. But then , nobodys really trying to either. Taurus: This week you will learn the terrible truth that your pet doesnt really love you. Its just Stockholm syndrome. Gemini: Just when things seem to be going your way, the baboons will suddenly and violently wake up. Cancer: Doubt kills more dreams than failure, but random chance is like...the grim reaper for dreams. Leo: Think positively! You can do it! Remember how nervous you were on your first day of school and you took the bus for the first time? You didnt even know how to drive a stick! Thank goodness for expunged Juvenal records huh? Virgo: Youll be thrilled all the way down to your toenails this week when electrodes are planted in the appropriate pleasure centers of your brain. Libra: The stars have been asked to break it you that nobody finds it humorous that your refer to your underwear as the petting zoo Scorpio: You face community disgrace when you try to convince one of the Make a Wish children to make HBO bring back The Wire Sagittarius: After the events of next Sunday, for the rest of your life, people will stop you on the street and ask you to autograph packages of pork chops.