Caregiver Tip #18: relationships are important but please be mindful that care receiver may have limited energy, strength, ability to make/sustain new relationships! So, as many of you know, I used to be more of a caregiver than a care receiver. This am remembering many things care receivers have told me over the years during their final months on this earth. I never heard I wish I had spent more time at work, I wish I had made more money, I wish I had more things. The things and longings I heard were expressions of the heart and soul....Desires for more time spent with family and friends and with God and that special times like ball games had not been missed by other priorities. The memories shared with me were more of the nature of relationships, not what they did as workers or businessmen or women or community leaders. The relationships were what mattered and Im convinced still matter. So although care receivers do like to remember work or church events or political times what I remember being cherished the most and WHAT I cherish the most even now is the relationship times. THAT being said, I do remember my Father in his final weeks of life being very selective about his time and energy. Once when he and I went to a new church (he asked to go to one that had the music of his youth) he wanted to sit on the back row. He told me once that he just could NOT meet new people that he did not have the energy for making new friends, He wanted to use the times when he was awake, and in manageable pain/discomfort to be with those he already knew. During visitation before service people came to him to say hello and they were aware of his situation (as I had passed a note to the pastor before the service and were most gentle and kind. ) So a tip out of all of this is to realize THAT relationships are important but please be mindful that the person may have limited energy, strength, ability to make and sustain new relationships and to NOT force that element upon their lives.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 12:52:51 +0000
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