Caution this is an extremely long post: I was asked recently why do you let your kids talk back to you? They were referring to my teenagers and an instance where I had asked my son to do something. Instead of him going and doing it, he informed me of what all he had going on at the moment and explained why he would do it later. I was okay with that and said as long as it gets done. My friend, says I cant believe you did that, if my mom asked me to do something and I talked back, like that it was on, and mine had better listen to me as well. I know alot of my friends that feel this same way when dealing with their teenagers and It was not the first time I have been asked something like that, so I thought about it for a moment before i finally responded to that statement. Guess what? I am sharing my response with you all too, only it is worded better in written form. ;) Good communication is necessary to succeed at anything in life. For example: If I place two people in a room and lock the door, Give one person the key and blindfold them to where they cant find the door, and place the other person beside them, no key and no blindfold. Remove any form of communication from them, verbal and nonverbal, and they will never get out of the room. One of them cant open the door, and the one that can open it, cant find the door. In that instance simple communication would work, perhaps just pulling the key out of their pocket would suffice. Learning how to express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas through intelligent and comprehend-able words that are not offensive or hurtful is not a skill we are born with. Being able to debate or express your point of view is a necessary part of life and it must be taught and practiced somewhere. While it should be a mandatory class all through school, it is not, and the lack of proper communication is the downfall of any social structure. It is a basic life skill that everyone needs;to find a job, get a promotion, defend yourself, give an explanation, or simply, to get out of a locked room when someone else holds the key. Since it is not taught in school, who is going to teach it to my children? The phrases Do as I say Dont back talk me and the ever popular because I said so are communication inhibitors, and I try hard not to use them. They do nothing to train your teenager to properly communicate their thoughts and ideas or even their schedule. All of life is a lesson when you are raising children, you are teaching them something in your every action and interaction with them. When they were little you taught them to talk, that was easy, now your supposed to be teaching them to communicate effectively and that is a whole different lesson. and yes I did put way more in this post than what I said to my friend, but it has the same meaning.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 20:17:58 +0000