~Chambers~of~Death~ (Based on a real story) Chop him, Cut her in pieces, Burn him in hell, roared he. For it is a daily routine for him. He is Couco the barbaric Caliph of Cucina. A city located in the northeast of Houmistan. In Couco’s reign everything is a crime from being ugly to smelly, to fat, to thin. And the punishments for these crimes were scarier than your worst nightmares. Couco has a jail, stuffed to its limits with thousands of convicts and slaves from all over the world, waiting for an ugly end to their miserable life. Couco is standing in a corner of his jail, robed in a traditional white suit with a white cap. instructing his soldiers to slaughter some slaves in all the different ways he has invented in past years. Couco then asked the other soldiers to bring the convicts they arrested last night. The soldier went inside and brought the convicts. Caliph: Bring them forward one by one and speak of their crime, Insah allah they will meet justice tonight. Soldier: First are Tomson and his two young brothers; they’ve all become so fat that their bodies look swollen and all dark red. Second is Grenchul; she was caught while trying to burn your royal pet dog chatungeshi. Third is this ugly hunchbag; His name is Kajingra, he is spoiling the beauty of your majesties city. Fourth is this begger Neyon he is suffering with some unknown disease and feels so cold that he wears eight to ten layers of clothes even in this hot summer. And last are these Jacuminian kids, they were caught red handed while stealing oil from the royal kitchen. In his fierce voice Couco yelled, ‘I won’t let you kafir termites eat my city’. Take them and throw them in the hurricane chamber but not these kids. There’s a gigantic chamber build in a corner which has four massive swords fixed at the centre in a cross shape. Soldier’s took the convicts to the opposite corner and kicked them all inside the hurricane chamber. They all pleaded for mercy but caliph has none for them. Soldiers then covered the chamber with a large glass plate. Couco then started to murmur some scary spells and within a second a hurricane erupted inside the chamber. Tomson and others inside the prison prayed for god’s help but the hurricane only grew stronger and the swords at the centre started rotating with it. They all closed their eyes and surrendered themselves to those merciless swords. After few minutes when the soldiers removed the glass lid there was no tomson no grenchul just a mud, coloured red with blood with an unbearable smell. But that maniac Couco loved that smell. He asked the soldiers to throw this mushy mud of body and blood in the cold storage to feed his dogs. The Caliph now turned his head towards the Jacuminian kids; the expressions on the faces of the kids were horrific. Caliph came near to them and said “So you kids like some royal oil, why didn’t you came and asked for it? but no worries, I will give you exactly what you want”. With an evil smile of his face he commanded “Throw these bastards in the Hot oil chamber”. As these words struck the eardrums of the kids, the kids lost all hopes and started crying, Some of them even fainted. There was a mammoth metal chamber, hollow from inside and open from top. It is placed on six metal rods under which massive fire was build. The chamber was partially filled with oil. As the fire grew stronger the metal base of the chamber turned red hot. The kids were then forced to dive in the chamber. Kids are throwing their hands kicking their feet against the hot metal base to save themselves from drowning in the hot oil. within few minutes the oil was as hot as lava and the kids were frying alive. They all prayed to god in unison not to save themselves but to die quick and end this pain. But they forgot its Cucina, the city of the devil. Couco heard them praying for their death but that psychotic maniac refused them even that. He asked the soldiers to throw in that bloody mud of Tomson and others in that chamber to delay kids death, Soldiers did just that. The chidrens were now seeing each other slowly succumbing to that boiling oil and cool muddy mesh of bloody remains of others. In next few minutes those sweet little kids turned dark brown, Most of them dead but a few were still fighting that lost battle between life and death. Just then, it looked like god heard their prayers and the remaining kids witnessed some heavenly rain of white snow which then turned golden yellow and then red like rose petals, slowly falling down, Then it rained water so heavily that it restored the life in those half dead kids. All the soldiers on top witnessed this miracle and bend down on their knees to praise Allah, but Couco was not amused instead his anger rose to heavens. He instantly commanded the soldiers “throw down the rocks and crush these remaining bastards”. Soldiers hesitated but didn’t had the courage to speak up against Couco, so they brought the heavy rocks painted all green in the colour of allah and dropped them on the heads of remaining kids. But it seemed, This time Couco is fighting the god himself the kids seemed to feel no pain, Infact they put the green boulders one above another and were trying to climb up. Couco couldn’t believe his eyes, he was witnessing some half fried kids beating him in his own barbaric merciless game of death. Though in shock but Couco couldn’t accept his defeat, He himself went to the platform above the chamber and pulled a lever which was attached to a rope holding a heavy metal plate. As he pulled the liver, the metal plate came down and completely covered the chamber from its top leaving no space for the kids to escape. Inside the closed chamber the kids praised Allah for this divine miracle and were now assured that no devil can take their lives without almighty’s will. As they were floating on that hot mixture of water and oil and dead bodies, they saw strange white mist filling the remaining chamber and soon realized these are the souls of their dead friends who are now free from their bodily prison. These souls then flown pass the metal plate covering the metal chamber to the heavens making a deafening sound and cursing that barbaric Caliph. Couco couldn’t see the souls and thought the kids inside are cursing him. Raising his brows he ordered the soldiers to bring the biggest stones they can find in the jail. Soldiers quickly went to fulfill his master’s commands. Within minutes they came back with large white marble stones, all carved rectangular in shape. Caliph then again pushed the lever and the chamber was open again. Kids were still alive they thought the caliph has now realized the gods will and might free them but that barbarian has no conscience to realize such a notion. Just as he saw all the kids in the middle hugging each other he waved his hand and all the soldiers pushed the huge stones from the edge of the chamber making sure they don’t miss the aim. Caliph expected the kids to cry and shout in pain, but they laughed and the pain that they should have felt can be seen in the eyes of the Caliph. he turned his head and pulled back the liver to close the chamber. Ashamed of his defeat he ordered his men to wait and only open the chamber when the kids finally die. After few minutes when they opened the lid the Matar Paneer was ready to serve. :-) Yes, above story is the recipe of Matar Paneer. The characters/Ingredients are as follows: Houmistan – Home, Cucina – Kitchen(Ideally located in the north east in a house), Couco - Chef, Tomson – Tomato, Grenchul - Green chili, Chatungeshi – Tongue, Hunchback Kajingra – Ginger, Neyon with many clothes – Onion, Jacuminian Kids – Cumin seeds, Hurricane chamber – Mixer grinder, Bloddy Mud – Masala paste, Green Boulders – Matar, White snow – Salt, Golden snow – Turmeric, Rose petals – Red chili powder, Metal Chamber – Pressure cokker, White marble stone - Paneer. : Saurav Please like this Page (Witty write) If you like this post, Thanks in advance :-) .
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 12:30:00 +0000