Chapter 1 “So I heard you’re taking Josh to the park Saturday” Pat said with a concerned look on his face. “Maggie, no 18-year-old girl spends this much time with her little brother. Don’t you want to call up Jenny or Kelly and gossip about football players?” He was smiling now because the image of me doing that was so out of my character. Pat was a tall man, so tall he barely fit under the kitchen table, which the image always made me smile. He had dark brown hair, bushy brown eye brows and an unruly mustache. He didn’t need to speak to make you laugh, that’s for sure. “Ya Dad, and then we can sneak out and drink beers behind Stop & Shop” I was smiling now too, I loved how concerned for me he was, but really that just wasn’t me. I grabbed an apple and started to head toward the door. I caught a glimpse of my unruly dark brown hair in the hallway mirror and made a feeble attempt to control it. I sighed and threw it up in a pony tail. I will never be able to tame this beast. I did a last double check of my fair complexion. I did have to admit that few teenagers were lucky enough to not need any cover-up. My skin was always flawless. “Just try to be a kid today, old lady” Pat yelled at me actually laughing now. I loved his antics. He was a really great dad. I didn’t know my real dad but he couldn’t have been as good as Pat. I feel related to him sometimes, a kinship that I don’t have with my own mom. I would give anything to have a connection with my mom, which I guess is another weird quality for a teenager, but many people would say I have an old soul. I would have to agree, my experiences didn’t allow me to stay a kid long. My mom was still sleeping. She was sleeping a lot lately and I was noticing the evil presence in her more as well. I had a really bad feeling about this weekend and decided it best if I take Josh out. Just in case mom gets mad. But that would mean I have to leave Pat with her. Maybe I should tell him about my feeling. “Dad?” “Yes honey?” the concern was back, he must have sensed my distress. Then I caught myself. He would never believe me and then he would lose that love in his eyes. “Just wanted to say the Old Lady is leaving the building” I spit out and plastered a smile on my face. * Walking out our front door, on this beautiful June day, I noticed the stillness in the air. I live in New England and you can never predict or understand the weather. But I understood it today. It seemed to be waiting for something; something ominous. I shook off the chill the stillness in the air caused me and jumped in my piece of crap Pontiac and started for Jenny Saunders’ house. I call it this endearingly, yet it does deserve the name. The windows, AC, and emergency break don’t work. The seats look like the owner before smoked and had problems with getting the ashes out of the window. And each of the two doors is heavier than me, which I guess is good if I get in an accident, this baby’s indestructible. My love for the car has nothing to actually do with the car. It’s how I got the car. On my 16th birthday my dad gave me a card with keys in it. I was so excited I booked it outside to see my very own red Pontiac Grand Am! And I think dad knew I was gonna need this hunk of metal, cause I drive like a maniac. I don’t know why dad lets me drive anymore. I’ve been in three accidents in one year. He must have known if he forbid me from driving I would believe he didn’t have faith in me, and so I would lose faith in myself. It’s not like I get distracted, I am very alert. It’s just, I love to go fast! When I go fast I forget about my problems and concentrate on the road and the feel of the car. And I don’t wanna brag but I’m really good at driving fast! My problem lies in gauging when it is safe to go fast. I pulled into Jenny’s driveway. She lived in a red colonial with white shutters. I love colonials, especially French ones. I hope to have a French colonial some day, a dark green one with light green shutters and a red door. Anyways, what I love most about Jenny’s house is their yard. In the front yard are all kinds of wild flowers, but structured enough to create a pathway to the front door and a sitting area to the right of the house. The driveway is gravel and leads to the left of the house, where you can go in a side door or enter the back garden area, through a gate that looks like I stepped into the movie The Secret Garden. Jenny ran down the driveway and elegantly lowered herself in my car. “So whatcha up to this weekend!” she was beaming at me, she loved Fridays. Jenny was beautiful. She was tall, tan, and had the most luxurious reddish brown hair I had ever seen. She was a cheer leader and was dating the quarter back, Sam Summers. Sometimes I wondered why she likes me; she could be friends with anyone. I was too skinny. I never did anything with my hair or wore very much makeup. I was smart and got good grades, and had no interest in guys, let alone football players. Yet Jenny was a loyal friend to me. I was so lucky, but deep down I wished I could share all of me with her. She knew exactly what I was doing this weekend, she was just mad about it. I couldn’t explain to her my abilities, I was too afraid to tell anyone. My mother made sure of that. So I made up a lie that my parents were forcing me to take Josh out so they could have time together. Jenny wanted me to go to the football game and cheer for Sam with her. “Wishin I was with you!” I replied with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. I was a great actor when I needed to be, but to be honest I did wish I was with her instead and didn’t have to worry about mom hurting anyone. It was tiring to worry about Dad and Josh. But Josh was the only one I could attempt to protect this weekend. What would I say to Dad, “I have a bad feeling about this weekend, mom is going to hurt you and Josh, I just know things sometimes.” He wouldn’t believe me and if he did, what would he do about it. Leave mom? And where would we go? And he couldn’t call the police and tell them I had a feeling, we would both be in therapy in a blink and then mom would know I know. Mom can’t know. Maybe I could leave Josh somewhere and go back to make sure Dad was safe. Maybe I could stop mom from hurting him, like I did with John. Apparently I still had some planning to do. I couldn’t just leave Dad to die. It hit me then, what I didn’t want to admit. Death was coming if I didn’t stop it. I suddenly felt really hot and heavy, my heart was pounding and my mind was racing. Pat was the only dad I knew, I loved him. I can’t lose him, then I would just have mom and she is getting worse every day. “Maggie are you ok, you don’t look so good? Maggie?” Jenny nudged me a little and I became aware of my surrounding again. Apparently I was sitting at a green light for a while because some preppy pain in my butt was beeping at me. I saw him in my rear view mirror flinging his arms around in annoyance. I looked at my hands and realized they were gripping the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles turned white. I relaxed them and resumed driving. “Ummm ya. I guess I don’t feel so good, I’m sure I will feel better in a bit though.” I gave her a great big smile and asked about Sam. That would keep her talking so I could think about saving Dad and Josh. There was always drama where Sam and Jenny were concerned. * In homeroom I sat in front of Dan Sullivan; we have been good friends since he moved here two years ago. Just friends or so I tell him. He used to express interest in me, which I have no idea why, but I had to make it clear we were just friends. Don’t get me wrong, Dan is amazing. Ever since we started to hang out together I instantly felt a connection. Like we had known each other before, maybe in another life or something, I know that sounds really lame, but it’s the best way for me to describe the feeling. I would consider him my best friend if, well, I felt like I could let my guard down around him. It’s just that if I’m not really concentrating and watching myself I find myself doing weird things, like reaching out to hold his hand, or fix his hair, things that would ruin my efforts to stay just friends. I really had no interest in guys until I met him, but I think it’s just that he’s a nice normal guy and he’s not bad to look at either. He’s around five ten, muscular, blond hair and blue eyes. I could get lost in those ocean blue eyes. He has the most amazing dimple on his chin and extremely kissable lips and… Maggie had to shake her head. I have no place for a boyfriend. I couldn’t do that to Dan and not be completely honest with him. It would be a lie. Someday I could tell him. Not today. Maggie sighed. Time for me to turn on the acting again; I looked over my shoulder at Dan. “Hey do you think I could drop Josh off at your place just for like an hour tomorrow. I have to write this paper and I won’t have time on Sunday. He has been dying to see Nick anyways.” I smiled at him hoping he would buy the lie and forget that I never leave things to the last minute. “Ya sure, what time?” he replied, not really looking at me, but at Samantha, his latest crush. Yes he was distracted! Suddenly jealousy hit me. Apparently I did get my point across and I was surprised by how unhappy I was. I struggled not to show it; I can’t send mixed signals. He would be happier with someone else anyway. I could be dangerous and my mom definitely was. Sure I felt happy and safe with Dan but he had no idea who I really was. I feel guilty just being his friend and keeping all of me from him. “Um…I’m not sure yet, I will text you tomorrow” I whispered so as not to remove him from his distraction and he turned around as the teacher started clearing his throat. I looked at Samantha and longed for her curves and blond hair and hazel eyes. She was on track, popular, beautiful, yet she knew it and I didn’t like that in people. Dan deserved better. Mr. Higgins, the homeroom teacher, began to go through attendance, just like every morning. “Maggie Shay?” he called. “Hear” I called out. Just like every morning, but this one was different. This one felt different.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 00:18:39 +0000