Chapter 2 - 1 Hayke the day came ndizodibana no Lulamile and shame he was the sweetest esodkula no Mandla... We wud do stupid things like going to the shops together, afoune acele ndimkhape uya at the station uyagoduka to Gugs, kwakubamandi ukuhlala naye cos I felt safe, secured and I jst wanted to arround him all the time and my mom thought we jst friends cos wayehlala ngasekhaya... But the funiest is tht this boy never kissed me, asked me ukuba ndiye kowabo or what ever.... Yafika imini yomngcwabo and shame he was there, ndaningayanga but ndandikrobe nge window and I saw him carrying his grand dad coffin to the hearse... Shame man it was sad, Mamqoco was nowhere to be found...! Zadlula inyanga yangu december and now ndizoya ku 9 nxt year... My cuz left for Kimberley for good and my Lulamile wabhala I matric and passed it... Then after my cuzin left things began to change and it felt like evrything was going back to square one... I wanted to understand but I jst cud not put one and one together.... My perfomance yehla eskolweni and even my english teacher complained about my perfomance and Lulamile tried to help me but then I just could not cope... Yonke into yayise magxeni am... I remeber one night it was on a Saturday, my mom was inside and my dad was in Eastern Cape kwi funeral.... I was outside with my siblings and nabo sebebadala ngok... Siya: hay mna ndiyanishiya ndiya endlini ....and Lindi followed ... I stood outside but in the yard and ndincokola no Lulamile but yena eme ngaphandle soyame nge zlaps(donga le yard) ... He left wagoduka xandiyongena endlini... When I opened the door, its locked mos and I can see my mom ekhitshini ehalmba izitya... Mna: mom can u please open the door Mom: ubupi all this time *ekrobe nge window* Mna: besisonke phandle no Lindi njee Mom: mxm senditixile ke yhima and ulale apho phandle He man kanti ndenzeni kanene, ndizicingela ndizibuza kephof... He bantu... I thought my mom was playing jokes with me nhe... And she was not... She switched off the lights and off she went to bed... Wow... Nzothini kehok? I decided to go and knock in Lulamile room kowabo *ehokini* ndasendihleli about 3hours phandle ndabona bana lomfazi was not joking mos... Me: nqo nqo nqo Lulamile: and then, ebusuku so, umamakho akazongxola, ufunani apha Pam Mna: nditixelwe ekhaya cos bendime nawe phandle Lulamile: so sizokwenza njani kengok, zolala apha Mna: hay ndicela undihlalise phandle cos andinokwazi ulala kokwenu, nzobonwa xandipuma then ndibesengxakini As sweet and humble as he was, he agreed to stand with me phandle silinde kuse... We sat outside till kwaqala ukupizela abantu bephangela... Lulamile: Pam let me go home now cos I must go take a bath ndzovuka ndiye caweni... Mna: okey ke nam nzoma apha phandle and wait for my mom to open He left and I went to hide at the back so that abantu bangandiboni bana ndileliswe phandle... I saw my mom switching the lights on, and I stood there and wanted to see ukuthi uzothini... She came out of the house and cleaned her yard.... All I did was just look at her and went straight in the house and saw tht my siblings were still sleeping... I jst went in and cleaned and ndalungisa impahla zam for church... Zange umama wam abhekise gama kum. Nam ndabe ndiqonda akho kwa gama endizolibhekisa kuye inguye nje okhiyele phandle for zilsh.... We then went to church and sakhonza... My mom soke aphakamise caweni athethe... Mom: abantwana bethu bakhula kakbi bazalwane, intombi yam endala ayindithethisi and ithetha nabantwana bakowayo kuphelan ndicela sithandazeleni abantwana bethu Hee ndaba bubhidka qha ndathula ndahlabela Mom: ndicela ukungahlatyelelwa ndiqgibe uthetha Hay ndavela ndahleka shame isixhosa and my sis and bro laughed with me... Yaphuma yona inkonzo... Xasisendlini... Siya: hemama kutheni usithi u Pam akakuthethisi kodwa ebetixelwe nguwe Mom: mxm Lindi: mama kodwa if u Pam ebehambile akabuya buzomngombela ukungabuyi endlini kodwa utixelwe nguwe Siya: kodwa hay mama u wrongo cos if dad was here bungazoyenza lento Mom: nithetha too much bekutheni ningaphumi nimvulele usisi wenu Lindi: nzomxelela mna shame utata lento yenze ku Pam engekho... *mna ndithule ndithe tuu* my mom just left to her room and I followed her... Ndangena ndavala umnyango behind me... Mna: mom who is my real dad Mom: hay man ngazondibuza ububhanxa, utata wakho ngulona ukukhulisileyo Mna: andali utata undikhulisile and I lov him to death, but who is my biological dad and Lindi and Siya are my half siblings Mom: hewethu uyithathapi lento yithethayo Mna: apha kuwe mama cos uyandibetha for no reason, uyandi, uyanditixela phandle kwakho infact ekhaya and abantu bakulotata kudala bandixelela bana utata is not ma dad ndisese primary Mom: wathini ungatsho ngoko ke Mna: ukuze uzondibetha ne mama Mom: hay ungazondipendula ukusa kwam, hamba uye kwabantu bathi ayingotata wakho lona Ndabona ba mandehle emsindweni ndimbuze kakuhle lomama... Mna: mom I knw I ukuthi there is something tht causes this resentmet from u to me pls ndicela undixelele...l Mom: mamela ke Pam, yo dad is the one okukhulisile qha end of story Mna: hay man mama man then why I family yakhe ingandazi indixelela bana andingowabo bandikhethe ko Lindin and then nawe ngapha u make me feel as if wht they are saying is true... U make me feel like an outsider ekhaya mama why mama? *sendilila kengok ndingasamceni umama* Mom: mamela Pam and sungxola bazakuva abanye Mna: hay mabandibe nabo bebakhona xandinkulwa nguwe nje Mom: Pam, utata wakho ndadibana naye tshatile then into yethi sisyifihla then ndamitha sakufihla wena sakusa kumama e Eastern Cape so ths is yo dad akakho omnye Mna: mom I will just let it go cos I dont understand nale explanaton yakho mna mama Mom: hayke andazi undifunani, and ndiqgibile khovule lomnyango ndipume Mna: its fine mom I will ask dad when he comes back Mom: its fine.... *my mom knew ukuthi I wud never ask my dad because I loved tht man I did not want to see him get hurt with my silly questions about my dad* In an hours time ndiyabuya.... Pamish
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 18:42:31 +0000
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