Christmas Greed Enough time has passed and it is now time to execute a Festivus ritual…the airing or grievances....sadly this holiday season my beloved daughter and son in law have exposed a dark side……yes, sadly they are Wigwam Hoarders. It all started six years ago when I began my now legendary career at Dicks Sporting Goods. Our family has a reputation as folks who dress for comfort. It is not uncommon for us to have our pajamas on in front of a roaring fire at 8:00PM. Movies, documentaries and even a yoga nidra to follow. At DSG I discovered the wonderful world of comfy soft wool socks, and the best of all…Wigwams…..made right here in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Every year the family seems to delight in receiving the luxury of the cuddly footwear. But after six years of sock giving, and reading in the USA today that socks were about the worst present ever, I sent an email to see if the kids were still interested. While they never seem to be in a hurry to get back to me on most occasions, within minutes I received various and hostile communications basically indicating that if this tradition were dropped, I would be spending Christmas alone. So dutifully I seized the moment to get the best deal on the proper styles. Things were fine until Christmas moring when be opened gifts after Arts incredible biscuits and gravy. Hard as it is to believe, I wrapped everything but sort of forgot who got what styles and sizes. It did not help that each item I was wrapped in an identical DSG cheap gift box. I was clueless. I confessed my errors before opening and we all agreed wed figure things out later. Art was Santa this year…at first things were okay…but as soon as the first Wigwams were unveiled….my normally peaceful son in law/Santa, instead of putting them in the designated Wigwam Community pile, declared forcefully, the box had my name on them…they are mine! Okay….things got better and we completed the exchange and moved to wine and entertaing a few quests. No sock talk ensued and the pile was complete, with the exception of Arts stash. Emily and Art had to leave early the next day so we said our goodbyes and prepared for a lazy day…including organizing our presents…only to discover the Wigwam pile had been decimated by the recently Minnesotans…..now I love Art…..and his wife is okay too…bit the Wigwam Incident has given me pause for concern. Sorry to reveal the family laundry publicly, but I hold no contempt toward the children…..my warning…Beware the Power of the Wigwam…..and the USA Today can kiss my ass for misinformation regarding the temptation of the Wigwam. Lastly, one cant wonder is this brutally cold winter is a direct of bad Wigwam Karma. Peace and Love.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 05:56:12 +0000
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