Chums, I feel I must preface this summation of today with this: apparently we are so far in the country that wifi hasnt yet been invented. Thus posting on Facebook is like you sitting in the dentists chair and I am the dentist- I can talk to my hearts desire and all I hear from yall is ushff odlnvx yitch. Can you believe it, The One, whose real name it is currently Taboo for me to utter on Facebook, did not want to ride to Apalachicola, so we decided to just ride over to The Gulf Coast. No more did we start than The One disses Lucille! Doesnt this Bike have another speed besides fast? I was able to keep Lucille under control until The One comes up with these hand signals where you throw your hands up in the air in the WTF sort of way (but The One does use that word except for spiders or cockroaches) but she has learned to position her hands in such a way that I can see them in both mirrors. That did it. I was no longer able to control Lucille! She started sort of swaying back and forth on the road . Then The one starts her usual: Youre going too Fast Theres a stop sign up ahead 2 miles - SLOW DOWN! Youre too close to the edge! Yada, yada, yada!!! This made Lucille so mad that The One says were going so fast the back tire is sliding out on the curves! Im not sure thats true but I do think I heard Lucille giggling. It was about here that the battery on our blu tooth communicater went dead. The Ones butt is capable of maybe 35 miles at best. As we have no wifi signal our map thingy will not work and we are checking out roads less traveled. As in so less traveled there isnt anywhere to stop kind of roads (God works in strange ways - as the blu tooth thingy is not working all I can hear is muffled by wind screaming coming from the back seat)! Finally we find a gas station. But the credit card reader will not read my card. We go inside and Haji speaks less English than I can speak Indian. So now we cant get gas and he cant tell us where we are! I do the official eeny meeny miney moe method and it says go left. We drive for a long way and finally find a gas station where the worker can speak English. Unfortunately they only sell regular and Lucille only drinks high test. BUT this place for some reason sells lingerie! Unfortunately we leave with neither of either!!! We end up at a normal gas station eventually. I ask them where could I get a beer. They say if we take the road beside them for 24 miles that we will end up in Suwannee. Its a dead end and there sure isnt much in Suwannee and the bar was closed. (So much for asking Gals for direction!) At this point the one is suffering heat stroke. But The One, there is only a 24 more mile ride back to civilization! It went down hill from There!!!
Posted on: Tue, 29 Jul 2014 22:30:58 +0000
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