Classic: Im office bound today dealing with hires, and just come off phone with a young girl who I have spent the last half hour, and several calls, trying to help out with her requirements. Absolutely genuine! [started off like this] Er hello, I need er yeh er projector is it? Okay yeah, well thank you for your call ands for choosing Movie cameras Inc - so what period are you looking at: 1930s 40s? Oh today, ya know modern like Hmmm, thats a odd one then because the latest projector on the market would have been made very early 1990s Oh so nothing like current then Not really - kinda isnt anything current because these things are vintage Could ya take a look and call me back Yeah sure - give me 10 minutes Ill take a look in our studio store and Ill call ya straight back [10 minutes or so later] Hello again: well I may have found you a projector that could pass as virtually modern. Its steel cased and quite generic looking Oh great! Oh did I mention it has to be 4000 lumens, can ya do that Well we kinda deal in Wattage: so Ill call you back [5 minutes later] Hello again, yes I have a different machine with an appropriate Wattage Whats a Whattidge,,,, hang on,,, what? Its 250 What Yes Yes what What? (now Im confused) Whats 250 The Wattage Whats Wattage? Hang on a minute were not getting anywhere fast here :) lets start again: without getting too scientific, Wattage is a measure of the work that electricity does per second: we rate the output of lamps in Wattage, for example a 60w light bulb or 250w projector lamp etc Okay,,,,,,,,,,,,, [pause] so whats Lumens? Like what I need Lumens is also a measurement of the total amount / output of a beam of light - so Ive done a conversion for you and 250watts is approx. 5000 lumens, so we can make this work for you Oh God I didnt want you to convert anything especially for us,,,, ya know I cant pay you like for any repairs or work No,,,,,,, [pause - now even my patience is wearing thin, but still polite] no the conversion wasnt physical it was a calculation using a table We wont need a table,, we have out own stand [sighs in dis-belief] Not a table in the real sense, a chart in a booklet which I used to make a mathematical conversion :) Oh I see, great then Yeah, so I think we have a winner: basically we can supply you with a projector at least if not more than the lumens you requested, and for 1 x weeks hire as requested. All I need to know is how much film stock you require for your scene, and the working title of you feature/Drama? Film stock? Oh I dunno,,,, Ill ask [phone goes silent for a moment, some mumbling etc] Hello again,,,, well we dont think we will need any film stock at all, as long as we can plug it in to our laptop computer [very long pause from me......] Beg ypardon? Yes we have 100s of images we have to show, so like we can do this from our computer yeah [pause, then slowly one world at a time Its-a-digital-video-projector-system-youre-asking-for-isnt-it? I dunno, is it? Yes! Are you sure? Ohhhhh yes pretty sure Is that gonna be a problem? Bye...........
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 13:58:07 +0000
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