Cochlear Implant, Day 1, Epilogue OK, so after my audiologist activated my cochlear implant today, she spent an hour going through all of the accessories. She sent me home with, literally, a briefcase and a satchel full of ancillary gadgets. And I spent a good part of the day just going through all this stuff. The company that made my implant, Med-El, is based in Switzerland and they market worldwide. And the processor -- the part that hangs on my ear, includes the microphone and has a computer chip inside -- has no buttons, dials or switches at all. Just a tiny lever that disconnects the battery pack. So, all of the controlling of how the processor works, including volume settings, different programs for different hearing conditions, etc., are done with this little remote control thats about the size of a book of matches. Fifteen little buttons, and most of them are marked with symbols, because again, this thing is marketed worldwide. Or, maybe its just made for idiots. Im not sure. So I was a little intimidated by this little remote. Afraid to press the buttons. For all I knew, I would be ordering a jihad. And all day long, I was hearing nothing but this jumble of pops and tweets and whistles and crackles. Like a radio dunked in seawater. Nothing intelligible. But, thats what the audiologist told me Id hear. I wasnt frustrated. Maybe a little impatient. Finally, curiosity got the better of me. There are buttons with one dot, two, three and four dots. Volume, right? I wasnt sure, because there are also plus and minus buttons. Sure, theres an instruction manual. Of course there is. But whats the worst that could happen, right? I mean, these things rarely explode. So I pushed the two-dot button. And started hearing something! I plugged my left ear (the ear that hears something) just to isolate what I was hearing. Sure enough! I could make out some words the TV announcer was saying, without closed captioning. On Day One! Amazing! Its not Dolby hi-fi stereo. Right now it sounds more like a cheap, blown-out car speaker. Everything is fuzzy and kind of wah-wah. But I could hear it! Thats way ahead of where the audiologist said Id be. (For those who need to know, yes. I did read the manual. The dot buttons are for four different programs that can be configured by the audiologists computer and then downloaded onto my processor. For now, theyre just simple volume pre-sets. Three-dot and four-dot are too loud for now; Im supposed to work up to them. Breathe easy, everyone. No jihad appeared.) Anyway, Im going to listen to a little CNN. Im on my way.
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 02:35:55 +0000
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