Cold. Hard. Truth. Take this as you want... Im warning Im being blunt honest. My wonderful, life loving, hilarious, smart ass, hard working husband has Brain Cancer. Terminal Brain Cancer. A very rare, VERY VERY aggressive form. Hes been fighting this fight now since October 2012. He will keep fighting for as long as he possibly can but he will not win this battle. No brain cancer patient does, they just by time until they cant fight this horrible disease anymore. Ray cant do radiation again, hes done every chemo available (even ones in a trial). Surgery will no longer be an option for him either. Your friend, your family member, your co-worker, the guy EVERYONE loves is not doing well. Ray has a hard time getting around. His vision is bad can hardly see out of his right eye and the left has no Peripheral vision with lots of black spots and to think that was his good eye. He has a hard time moving the left side of his body, leg, arm, and has a facial droop. Hes coherent as to whats presently happening but is still very confused. He has no short term memory, but his long term memory is still in tack. So when he talks about seeing his friends that morning or that hes waiting for this friend to call because they are meeting up for the game it kills me to have to tell him no Ray not today. Or when he talks about his friends kids which is a lot actually I just have to agree and tell him everyone is ok and try to change the subject. I dont have the strength to keep back the tears anymore and I just cry so he then gets upset now. When getting a diagnosis like he did you never think your friends will disappear, not all have but most did. I completely understand that no one wants to see him this way. You want to remember him the way he was, but hes your friend, your loved one, your family. To him his friends are family. You dont forget about your family. I understand people have lives and families and life gets busy and crazy lol but 10minutes with Ray just makes his day. Well when hes actually awake. Lol Rays still that silly guy just making everyone laugh all day with his dry and gutter sense of humor lol I still dont catch on to things and sure enough that makes him make fun of me even more lol. Im not bashing anyone. Im just sharing my feelings. If I could trade places with him I would in a heartbeat. No one deserves this. Especially my amazing Raymon. All he ever wanted was to be an electrician, married with 2 boys and coach little league football. To be happy. Unfortunately we wont get our happily ever after.
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 02:20:10 +0000
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