Coming back home from Exchange has taught me a lot of life lessons. I honestly, was so naive to think that coming back home would be a breeze for me. I thought that the biggest lessons would come from when I was over in Indonesia. Little did I know, the biggest lessons would be from when I come home. During the past 10 months since Ive come back home, Ive experianced a lot of seperation... I have experianced reverse Culture shock to the extreme (and yes, it does happen, no its not a myth), Ive experianced social anxiety and social helplessness, But, I the experiance which had the biggest impact on me is love, finding out who you love, finding out who loves you back and finding out who is there for you through all the craziness. Finding out who your true friends are is such a hard lesson to learn. Its a lesson I didnt feel like approaching until just recently. Ive heard it all my life: you make friends, and you lose friends. The ones who stick with you through the hard times are your greatest friends. Im not someone who has alot of friends so to speak. Im someone who has a few really good friends and alot of acquaintances. So, when I made a few really close friends in Grade School, I thought that they were going to be for life. My life revolved around them because thats the only thing I knew..... Thats the only enviroment I knew... A class of 28 people, every single year, mostly the same people. We all had our cliques. Yeah, cliques in a grou pof 28 kids... It happened. So, I had my little clique... Going into High School, I ended up having only 2 of those friends. The others decided that they didnt need me anymore, and stopped talking to me. I got over it- I moved on. Out of those 2 friends I had, one of them went to the same high school as me, and the other went to a didfferent high school, I didnt see her much. Though, we still remained friends- even though there was a distance. Over those 3 years I created a strong friendship with a few other girls and the one who came with me from Grade School. They were with me and supported me for those 3 years, the hardest 3 years of my life (yep HS is tough). But, I didnt realize that going to Indonesia would have been such a bad thing for our friendships... I didnt know that saying goodbye would mean goodbye for ever... I didnt know that our friendship would become something bad... One by one they were beginning to delete me out of their lives. Eventually, they actually did delete me out of their lives. In Indonesia, I couldnt wait to come home to them. I couldnt wait to share my experiances and happiness with them and hear about their experiances of Senior year in High School and their year in general... I didnt know that this was happening.... I came home and my world collapsed.... Even though I saw them a few times, and they tried to act all happy when I was with them, I knew that it was coming to an end. Coming back home was the worst time in my life.... It was the hardest... I dealt with depression, I delt with sadness, I delt with things that I cant even wrap any words around because it is some deep dark thing that you feel. Theres literally no words for it. It was my worst times... And I had no one to help me through it.... Yes, I wanted it to be like old times. I wanted to make more memories with people Ive been making memories with for years, and that didnt happen. I was devastated. Thankfully, I wasnt alone. I made amazing life long SISTERS and Bros when I was over there! my exchange friends are my FAMILY. And its the little things that count. Like, getting a message from my sister in Indonesia saying how much she misses me.... Getting a birthday wish from my Ibu and friends. Getting whatsapp messages from my friends in Brazil, Germany, Colombia, Minnesota, who always know how to put a smile on my face even when they dont know theyre doing it. Going to school with someone who I entered thsi whole experiance witH!!! (Rosy, Daisy? Our names are flowers and we both want to go to italy! hehe Rosaura) Having someone who put up with my moody I need AC crap in Indonesia being only 45 minutes away from me (yet we still havent seen eachother in months -_-) Snapchatting my jogja girl, her being completely crazy and me doing the same.... (gahhh rindu). Getting a message from the one German that doesnt like Americans saying how awesome I am ;) These are ALL the moments I live for, all the moments that matter to me. Along with Exchange Framily I have people here who mean the world to me, Remember that girl who I said I grew up with and we went to different high schools but still remained friends? Yeah, she might as well be speed dial #1. I have someone who loves me and whom I love and Im proud to say that hes my boyfriend ;) These are the people I live for, these are the moments I live for, this is my life now. A few people left, many many more came in. Thats something that I didnt realize when I came back. I thought my life had just gone into an empty place... Having the people who mean the most to you, go through hard times with you, is the greatest thing in the world. Its the most valuable lesson anyone can learn, as well. These people are my true friends and my friends for life. I know that this may be alot of rambling thoughts, and it may not make sense to anyone reading this.... I wanted to bring attention to something that has really touched me in my life and I wanted those people who have touched me to know that they have. And I want everyone to realize what you have, and how you cherish the people in your life. You never know how much you need them until theyre gone...
Posted on: Sun, 06 Apr 2014 05:36:44 +0000
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