Completely unrelated to anything Ive previously read or posted on Facebook, my good cat has been saying horrible things to me lately. Wait! Dont run off. This story is close to funny; especially for cat owners and cat lovers. (There is a distinction, yknow?) So, its true. My good cat, lets say, GC for short or maybe even Jazzy for accuracy? Yes, sweet Jazzy has been acting up...in a comical cat way, of course. And tonight, she reached a new level of stardom. She even compromised a cat codeword. Ill be as brief as possible. As it was, after dinner I started toward the front bathroom to brush my teeth. It was already dark outside and Jazzy was jumping all over the furniture with the grace of a ballerina but as if she really needed some fresh air. (I do routinely let her out the front door around 9 PM. So, she was a little ahead of schedule.) Unfortunately, neighbors were standing out front with their dogs and I didnt want to start a holy catastrophe of dogs chasing an aging Maine Coon around the neighborhood while dragging lightweight senior citizens along the asphalt, concrete, grass, and sand -- all because I let her out. Think about it. Even Chevy Chase wouldnt stand for THAT tired of a schtick. And Im no Chevy Chase. That guys freaking legendary! So, I told Jazzy that she couldnt go out for the above-stated reason. She let me know that she was neither very happy about it nor holding onto an abundance of patience in the matter, either. Duly noted, I told her and stepped into the bathroom. Jazzy then circled, meowed, and finally took up position right outside the bathroom door as she watched me get comfortable with the Oral-B. Keep in mind, the house was library quiet. She seemed mad. I was thinking about other things and going through the routine of brushing. And when I returned my toothbrush to its place, I also reached for the mouthwash to pour a slug. And dont you know, when I pulled that familiar plastic bottle from the overjohn, I twisted it open and Jazzy sprang up, clicking her back heels on the tiles and running off, cussing as she sped away, Frikkin mouthwash! THAT, my friends, is a true story. Apparently, some cats dont like mouthwash. Who says that my kind doesnt suffer from PTSD? I was a trained listener. So now I hear things in the clicking of cat claws and meows. If thats not PTSD then I dont know what is.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 03:32:11 +0000
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