Confession Im an addict. I can now open up about my addiction to sleeping pills. It began when I was 18. Ive always had difficulty sleeping and I do crave the horizontal deep sleep. Well perhaps due to the exit out of the somewhat cozy womb and into the big top of the circus-like world, I said goodbye to long nights of zzzzz. I took off from home, my thumb held high and hitch hiked across Canada and the U.S. of A. Two years of travel got my eyes opened wide and they havent shut since. New York scorched them. San Francisco popped them. L.A. wowed them. New Orleans spun them and I grew up fast. I got back and was so used to moving, the stillness kept me up. I needed to sleep for my classes in University. I would go bleary-eyed into these rooms and fall asleep at my desk, my head bouncing off my chest. So I went to a doctor. The doctor gave me seconals. Yes, seconals. Secobarbital sodium is a barbiturate derivative drug and is one of the most powerful sedatives there is. Good. I needed to get knocked out. I took one. Nothing. Ten minutes later I took another. Zilch. I took yet another. Hey, Im hyperactive. I wanted instant. At one point my parents wondered where in hell I was and tried to wake me. I mumbled. They left me alone. A day and a half later I awoke. I could barely move. I was like a robot. Took me two days to get back to not walking like a Weeble. I flushed the rest of the little pills down the john. Flash forward to five years ago. I was about to leave for China to teach English. I was up almost every night and nodding off only around 2 or 3...or 4. I was a basket case. I went to my doc. Good old pusher/doctor gave me Zopiclone. I took one every night. Heres where it gets murky. Those popped out, scorched, wowed and spun eyes were dulled. I finally got why Hollywood stars walked around at night with sunglasses on. I wore them day in night out. I would visit friends in mid day and literally fall asleep in mid conversation. I was like a narcoleptic. I noticed I began to ... to ....oh yeah, forget things. My memory was the shits. Who are you again? became a popular phrase. I wont bore you with the stories, but I can say Im off now. It took the whacking off of a side mirror on my car against a bus stop pole to do it. Slapped wide awake, I kept going, too embarrassed to stop and pick up the pieces. Thank god no one got hurt. It was sheer willpower that had me cancel the prescription and Im starting to feel like my real self again. I toss and turn once in a while but it sure beats a cadaverous sleep at night and a falling forward off a couch/chair or moving car at 40 miles per hour.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 15:06:49 +0000
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