Constructive criticism needed! Im studying for my ACT test in September, and I will be taking the writing part of the test, which means I will have to write a short essay about a question Im given at the testing center within 30 minutes. I wrote an essay today with a test question to get myself prepared..it took me a bit longer than I will have during the test, however with it being the first essay Ive ever written Id say I did okay. Any feedback given to help me prepare is greatly appreciated! Test question Many successful people believe that a competitive environment fosters high achievement. In high schools, some parents and teachers think that competition between students encourages them to strive toward higher academic potential. Others think that academic competition negatively affects students performance by causing undue stress and feelings of failure. In your opinion, should high schools encourage a competitive academic atmosphere? There is a debate among parents and teachers, whether or not high schools should encourage higher competition between students. I believe that some level of competition can be good, and can help some students strive toward greater academic potential. However, in my opinion, high schools push competitive behavior too much, and it seems to cause a lot of unnecessary stress among the schools students. The high amounts of stress can then cause some of the students to have trouble absorbing the information theyre given, because theyre either under too much pressure, and cant focus,, or they dont see the point in trying as hard due to feeling like theyre already a failure. It is one cause of higher suicide rates among several countries. For example; Japan has one of the highest suicide rates, in part, due to a highly competitive school environment. Most high school students already have a lot on their plate, and while pushing them to aim higher is good, there are limits. Students seem to find plenty of competition between themselves on their own, and I dont believe the schools need to encourage that behavior. Some parents and teachers believe that a competitive environment gives students a taste of the real world. From what I have seen, the skills you need in the real world are more cooperation, the ability get along, and work with others. Its teaching students from a very young age to compare themselves to the people around them, and I dont believe thats a healthy way to live. People shouldnt be apprehensive to sharing their ideas with others. I think schools should be teaching students how to work together and share their ideas to create brilliant things. Comparing students to each other is separating them from one another and causing them to believe that theyre either not good enough, or better than you. I believe everyone is good enough, and should have a chance to express that without being compared in order to better prepare them for the work world.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 02:54:46 +0000
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