Conversation between my friend and his chick YEEEE !!!!!!!! SHE ALMOST KILLED ME Today being Friday, love almost killed me and I almost died. In fact, I died. It was God that saved my life. It was Precious, the lady I met today after losing contact for over 3 months. I fell in love with Precious three months ago. We were in love. Then we used to joke about our hygiene. Precious once told me that if she doesnt brush her mouth for three days no one would know. We argued and argued on that issue. Today was a crazy realisation that she was wrong. I met Precious on my way to a nearby restaurant. I saw her looking all set-up and kinky. We shouted in delight. We couldnt resist hugging ourselves for some minutes along the busy way. Where are you headed to? She asked. Im on my way to Appolonias eatery just down the road.I replied. Oh! I love her dishes. Lets go. She said, and added You are paying for my meal. At the restaurant, she sat opposite me and started gisting me where she had been. But as she was talking, the odour from her mouth was like that of a pant used for a womans period and remained unwashed for days. Every time she speaks, the poisonous air blows towards me. I tried to bend my head low but she will say, KJohns, look at me now!!! Maintain eye contact. I would be forced to raise my head again. She kept on talking. I was being poisoned. In fact, thank God that madam Appolonia at the canteen didnt bring my food at that instant. I tried not to breathe for so long that I almost suffocated. I had to bend my head again. It was that time she was telling me how much she loved me. Again, Kjohns, why are you looking down? Are you shy? (In my mind, I shouted Heeeeee!!!!!) I replied, Habaa! Shy? No o. Thats good because I need to look into your eyeballs after all these while. She said. (In my mind, Heee!!! Jesus!!! I am dying, save me...... Or this girl drank stale urine?) *10 minutes later* Kjohns, eat your food Habaa! Precious! Eat, let me watch your beautiful mouth moves. (In my mind, at least, you will keep shut) *20 minutes after she ate* I was still hungry but I dare not eat the food considering the odour of her mouth. In a short while, she resumed talking. This time, the gist is about her ex-boyfriend. I was trying not to breathe. And now, her mouth odour had been mixed with the peppers aroma. I didnt know when tears started rolling down my face. Ha! Kjohns, are you crying for me? Wow! Im touched! She said. (In my mind, Thunder fire you!!! Cry for who? God punish devil) I couldnt hold it anymore. I had to come up with a quick and sound lie. She opened her mouth to speak. This time, it was my mouth that spoke before my brain could think. I said, Precious, Im so sorry. I have an urgent meeting with god right now. She looked at me puzzled and asked, Which god? I didnt know when my brain and mouth came up with one answer. I replied, I have an urgent meeting, with Sango, the god of Thunder!!! *** Thank God she couldnt overcome her shock till I reached the doorway. The first thing I had to drink is a bleach, Harpic. Or by the way, dont you think I should drink a little of detergent to wash my intestines?!!!
Posted on: Mon, 13 Oct 2014 11:05:39 +0000
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