DEPRESSION The pattern has become almost as predictable as a soap opera plot involving amnesia, multiple personalities, and a long lost child. A celebrity dies, suicide due to depression is the culprit, think pieces are written about how we must remove the stigma of mental illness, and people are urged to call a number if theyre having suicidal ideations. Brave people come forward about their personal struggles with depression and help put a face to the disease. These narratives are unique in so many ways, but also have a common thread - there is always hope. Again - the pattern is predictable. Person feels sad in a way they know isnt normal, person initially resists but finally seeks help, person finds proper combination of therapy and medication, person finds a way to thrive or at least survive. What you dont often see written about are the setbacks. About the times that the panacea stops working and youre back where you started all over again. When the life youve built for yourself comes crashing down all at once. Or at least thats how it feels. You lose a job, you lose your home, you have a serious medical crisis, your spouse dies - and maybe those things even all happen at once. And despite the fact that your brain chemistry is fixed, your propensity towards self effacing thoughts and a belief that things will never get better suddenly returns. Maybe youre the type of person who knows how to be there for others, but doesnt know how to ask for help for yourself. Maybe youre scared to reach out to all those people who supported you the first time around because you feel you failed them for being right back where you started. Perhaps youre irrational (forget the perhaps - you are by definition irrational when depressed) and expect people to know whats wrong and reach out to you and insist on helping. Perhaps theyve done just that and youve hit ignore on your phone because watching Law & Order reruns is easier than facing your feelings. In other words....youre depressed. There may be 100 people you could call and say, I just need someone to sit with me for an hour and help take me out of my head and they would come over in a minute if they knew your life was at stake. There may be 200 people you could call and say, I havent eaten in weeks and Ive lost 15 pounds because I dont even have the energy to call for delivery and theyd come over with their famous casserole (which may or may not help the situation depending on their culinary abilities). You know these people exist, but you cant pick up the phone. Not wont. Cant. And so you sit in your bubble and live your life and you try to fight this monster disease on your own. Sometimes it works. Sometimes you pull through. Sometimes you see a light at the end of the tunnel and youre able to make it there. And sometimes you dont. Everyone has moments where the disease wins a little. Moments where youre convinced you have no talents, that youre un-loveable, and that you will never feel true happiness again. But the real danger comes when youre alone in a room thinking , this world would be better off without me. I wouldnt be missed. And you convince yourself youre right, because youve pushed away the people who love you, so your entire world is reduced to you, your home, and your pain. People mean well when they pass on a suicide hotline number, or tell you to call a friend, but thats the farthest thing from your mind when these thoughts take over. All the advice we see after a celebrity suicide - its all accurate. And it does save lives. But theres more we can do. If a friend drops off the face of the earth - keep checking in. It doesnt have to be a phone call. It can just be a text that says, Im thinking of you. Even if they want to be left alone - remember that the disease often speaks way louder than reality. Offer to bring over that casserole. Do anything and everything you can so that when its 2 am and that person is lying in bed staring at the ceiling, their inner voice trying to scream you dont matter to anyone, has as little power as possible. It can truly mean the difference between life and death.
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:38:25 +0000