DR. BOBS DAILY: FORGET ABOUT YOUR TEENS CELL PHONE - PUT YOUR OWN PHONE DOWN AT DINNER We focus so much on trying to get our kids to put down the electronics. But what about ourselves? A new study videotaped 225 pairs of moms and young kids having dinner. Moms who spontaneously used a mobile device (either answering a text or call or initiating use on their own) were compared to moms who didnt use a device during the meal in how much they interacted with their child. The results showed that mobile moms had 20% fewer verbal interactions, which I suppose isnt too much of a big deal. But it also showed they had 39% fewer NON-verbal interactions. The study only looked at moms, but the same probably holds true for us dads. Non-verbal and emotionally-connected interactions are key to healthy child development, especially while they are young. The study also found a negative effect on young children when being introduced to new foods at the table. We dont do cells at the table, but I do recall last week when I needed to send a text (well, really - DID I? It couldnt have waited 15 minutes?). Cheryl said something to me during the text, and I was completely oblivious. And I know Im the same way if I need to text at other times of the day. The world around me ceases to exist. I just cant multi-task that way. So how do our younger kids feel when we completely tune them out three or four times during a meal? And its no wonder they get hooked too. So. Use your mobile devices. We all do. Its the new world. But we also need to attend to our kids. Even one extra loving smile and affectionate gaze that your child soaks in at dinnertime, one that might not have occurred because your friend Jane just had to Instagram you a pix of her cat sleeping in a funny position, and YOU couldnt wait until after dinner to see it, means a lot to that child. And what if its twenty or fifty brief encounters of non-verbal affectionate attention your child is missing out on because you need to use your phone all day long? Do all these lost encounters really add up to affect a childs development? Maybe. Im just as guilty of abusing this as the next person. So lets get better at it. Dr. Bob
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:40:15 +0000
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