Day 24, Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us. He created each and every one of us and because He is the creator of us He knows us better than we know ourselves and even our very hair on our heads are numbered. Thats how much He loves us and cherishes us. No one can love me the way He does. So, when I am lonely and tired of what life has dished out to me for the day I can sink back into my chair in front of a roaring fire in the fireplace at home and without trying to have someone else comfort me or cheer me up, I can lean on Him to help me and love me and show me His ways. I thank God that I can learn, if willing, to depend on him to keep me up and positive in life. I grew up with no or little positive reinforcement in life. I have had to walk this life alone growing up without any mentor or Father or someone I could talk to about lifes problems. All I was taught was that life was a chore and you work to exist because suicide was not an option. So to cope with this way of life, I walked alone in this world and tried to figure it out on my own, and that was very tough for me. I see today some preachers and they have great wives and lots of money. I see their churches are prospering and life is good for them. They were raised, many of them, in preachers homes or with parents that loved each other and stayed together. In many ways I am sort of an odd ball in this calling of being a preacher. I am a preacher, but by no means was I raised up like most preachers with a lot going for them. I dont know what it means to have a support group or a family to lean upon in financial hard times. It is just me and for me that has been very tough. It makes a person very independent and skeptical of people. Perhaps the only one who knows what I am talking about are the people that I grew up with like Ricky Crossette or Mike See. They know what I am talking about. But even them, they have lives of their own now and have done very well for themselves. But, all in all I hold on to God hoping and believing for a better life. Trusting that I can be good enough at being a preacher that I might be rewarded with what many, many other preachers have and have been able to accomplish. I keep trusting that God will somehow show me how to be happy, how to have a church that I am proud of and is growing and doing well. To have a marriage and family that is God honoring and a wife who loves me. I keep on trusting and believing someday, someday, someday it will happen for me. Someday I will find happiness and a way of life that is prosperous and a church that is not struggling and growing. I dont give up because I know that God loves me and will never leave me nor forsake me even when I feel so much at times I am forsaken and all alone; pushed over to the side and given things that no one else wants. But, I am not alone! Thanks God for being there for me. You are the only one I can trust and count on, the only, only one!
Posted on: Mon, 25 Nov 2013 01:21:55 +0000
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