Day 29 - 5h00 am Club - DONE This morning as I was pondering what to write about, I figured that I was going to put everything out there. For those of you that know me, you know that I have had my share of struggles in life. What made me the person that I am today is going through major life experiences and learning from them, growing from them. Over the years I have had to see loved ones battle with cancer, some winning the battle (one of them being my dad overcoming it 3 times) and some others loosing the battle like my mom at the young age of 48 ... the age I am today... way too young! For years I lived with the fear of getting cancer, as both my parents did, and so did many aunts and uncles and my grandmother as well. The last 4 years of my life have brought me challenges again, that I didnt know at the time if I was going to be able to surmount. I had to deal with major health issues and injuries, then came the teen years of our children, having 5 children between my spouse and I, we have had our shares of struggles that is for sure. From drug addiction, to mental health issues and to suicide attempts. When you are going through these things, you try desperately to figure out how to deal with this, how you can you fix it, what can you do differently, what did you do wrong, the questions keep coming. Your world is turned upside down and you so desperately want to help your loved ones, but feel powerless. My coping mechanism of choice was food. I gained a lot of weight over the years, and mostly in the last couple of years after falling and tearing ligaments in my lower back I went up to 335 lbs. I was medically considered morbidly obese. Quite scary. I was living my life in fear. The fear of sharing my emotions with people, the fear of losing the people I loved the most in my life, yet again! I had to put on a brave front as I needed to be strong for my family, as they needed me as much as I needed them. It came to the point, that I could hardly walk or stand. I was actually walking with a cane, and had a handicapped license. I remember the stares from people, but what I remember the most is the support that I got from people that I least expected. The smiles, the hugs. I remember in particular one day I was at Chapters and I was looking at books, trying to find a book that would help me get through what I was going through. This young lady that worked there, came up to me and said to me Are you Ok? I thought to myself, I was a pretty good at hiding my emotions, what was she talking about. She just looked at me and said Would you like a hug? To this day, I tear up at the thought of this gesture, from this complete stranger. I did accept the hug, and it did help. I now make it a point, of hugging people, when I see people that look sad, I tell them, you look like you need a hug, and I hug them. The lessons we learn can come from pure strangers. So to all of you that offered kind words, smiles, hugs you helped more than you will ever know. Today, I am happy to say that I have learned to take care of myself, I am learning to live a healthy life. I am proud to say that I am overweight, yes overweight at 182 lbs. I know it might sound odd to say that, but coming from being morbidly obese to overweight gives me tremendous joy. I am working on getting to a normal weight and I will succeed. So for all of you that are struggling, with life events, know that there is hope, that you are not alone and that this too shall pass. Life is worth living, we meet amazing people along the way and experience tremendous personal growth from it. ... dont be so quick to judge people ... as you never know what they are going through. Be kind to one another! Keep Smiling
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 11:50:50 +0000