Dear Brilliant but Highly Controversial Bio-Mechanical Engineer/Science Man, **Today took an unexpected turn for the worse & became an acute *pain day*. I woke up feeling fine, went about my business making calls, organizing my astoundingly ridiculous amount of paper work, etc... all as per usual. However, by the late afternoon, my neck pain FLARED up. Like, so badly it was beyond infuriating....COME ON, BODY! WTF?! I took a Tylenol & a 100mg Neurontin(an admittedly weak dose) & tried to take a nap.---> FAIL. As the pain increased, my neck felt... shit, FEELS like its on fire, inflamed. FLAMES!!!... All the way up to the base of my scull. o_O ENOUGH.** I am looking for an independently wealthy, ambitious pioneer in the field of highly advanced bio-mechanically engineered body parts. :D Please turn me into a Bionic Woman &/or Bio/Mech Enhanced Alice from Resident Evil, at your earliest convenience. I am done with this body; so many things need to be replaced: my feet, my knees, my right hip, my cervical vertebrae.... In exchange, I will joyfully be your New & Improved wife who can run 70 mph, leap tall buildings in a single bound & whip up a killer breakfast- you like waffles, no?? **Addendum: Since Ill be knocked out in surgery for quite some time, go ahead, be a love & install a lovely set of 36 D breast implants... that shoot doom-lasers when Im angry.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 07:20:06 +0000
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