Dear David Dombrowski, I am aghast at the fact that I did not receive any consideration for the position of manager of the Detroit Tigers, especially considering you hired Brad Ausmus. You know, me and Brad have exactly the same amount of Major League managing experience under our belts. That said, I hear you need a hitting coach since Lloyd McClendon left for the Mariners. I am very good at hitting high Fs, Gs, As, and even the occasional B-flat. I am also very good at hitting things with baseball bats- windows, cars, walls, and friends faces, to name a few. I dont have that much experience hitting things with baseball bats, but I DO have more experience hitting things with baseball bats than Brad Ausmus has with managing baseball teams. My unofficial agent, Matt Miller, will hash out the contract details with you later today. Sincerely, Isaac Garrigues-Cortelyou Best friend of Jose Canseco, who has found the secret to time travel
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 16:39:09 +0000
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