Dear Facebook friends- I have not written anything of substance on here for a long time- mostly due to my loathing of long Facebook rants... So if you will indulge me to have one, read on. If not, I completely understand- feel free to skip my post. First of all, not all of you will have a clue as to what Im talking about. If that is you, also feel free to skip over this dreadfully long post. But if you have known my heart, you will understand this post probably better than I will. This last year has been the darkest of my life. Dont feel sorry for me- I put myself there. I preached grace and gave none. I talked of love as if it were an action and I acted on none. My only thoughts were for myself and what gave me excitement in the moment. I was selfish, thoughtless, rude, a coward. Im sorry for all of you that were affected by that ugliness. And now I stand at the door of perhaps the greatest act of grace I have ever known. I am overwhelmed, confused, knocked on my knees. I have forgotten how to live with purpose, and I desperately want that back. I have forgotten how to walk the hard road with my head held high, and I want my callouses back. I have no idea how to get there or what the right move is. All I know is that I have lived in isolation for far too long, and Im tired of hiding. Im ready to be free from this bondage I wrapped myself up in. Please pray for me friends. The next year will be the most life changing ever for me, and Im terrified. For those of you who have loved me through this, and for those of you who continue to love me, you are absolutely irreplaceable and I am so so grateful to you. That is all, Facebook world. I promise I will not rant for a very long time :).
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 10:06:12 +0000
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