Dear Husband: Im writing you this letter to tell you that Im leaving you for good. Ive been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didnt notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You dont tell me you love me anymore, you dont touch me or anything. Either youre cheating or you dont love me anymore, what ever the case is, Im gone. P.S. If youre trying to find me, dont. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife . Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Its true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what youve been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesnt work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was You look just like a man! My mother raised me to not say anything if you cant say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you wont get a dime from me. So take care. P.S. I dont know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope thats not a problem. Signed, Rich As Hell and Free!
Posted on: Thu, 07 Nov 2013 16:18:02 +0000
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