Dear Metro Times Detroit Music reviews: I am a long time reader of the Metro Times, having grown up in the area it has been a staple in my life, especially as a teenager but lately Ive been troubled by the content shared online. While I appreciate the lists of things to do or places to eat in the metro area, or the events coming to town, the music reviews lately have been not only rude but useless. When reviewing a product, piece of art, media etc. your job as a reviewer is to try to give an honest review, leaving your personal feelings about the artist, creator or builder at the door and evaluate the product in front of you. Tell me things about this item, does this artist remind you of anything, make you feel any certain way and why? How does it look, sound, feel, smell, taste? I should walk away from your piece with some sort idea of how this item will suit my tastes. Instead of doing this Ive read nothing but rude rants about the artist based on the writers personal opinions about their looks, personality, style or past. Not once in any of the pieces Ive read have I heard ONE THING about the actual item being reviewed. I read a review of Ed Sheerans new album X in which the author Alysa Offman called Sheeran a homely ginger who is known for his annoying-yet-ubiquitous hit The A Team,. She went on to say that Ed Sheerans musical STYLE elicits torture, and proved a downright painful experience. I appreciate the fact that she even mentioned the particular songs on the album, or the album itself, considering some of the ones Ive read havent even done that much, although the only description she gave of the tracks were particularly embarrassing, only slightly unbearable and the track I,m a Mess is aptly titled, yet provides no respite for the horrors that lie ahead. This left me scratching my head, considering Im unsure as to what the musical style actually is. Nowhere is there a comparison of tone or sound, no comments on who Sheeran sounds like, or the feeling of the record. It was painful to read and seems as if the writers on the payroll only need to have words submitted by a deadline and there is no concern for content. The next piece I read was a review of Lana Del Rey newest release Ultraviolence by Lee DeVito. In the article Lee referred to Del Rey as just isn’t that fascinating, a cartoon parody of a femme fatale, and asks One wonders if she might be overcompensating for something. There were very few moments of actual commentary on the album as opposed to just some faceless person commenting on Lana Del Rey as a person. They noted that Ultraviolence is given grandiose, if gloomy, Bond-theme production and also Del Rey switches between singing with various inflections, from posh 1930s Hollywood to country yodel to Disney princess — oftentimes all within the same line. That is literally the only comments on the actual album which is the closest they could get to actually commenting on the album by STILL mocking the artist. Finally, today I read a review of Riff Raffs latest Neon Icon by Brett Callwood in which the author actually made a comment about reviewing the album objectively and then immediately launched into a impeccably self important onslaught of rude comments ONCE AGAIN on the artist as opposed to actually reviewing the piece assigned to them. They pretended to review it by saying things like His voice sounds like somebody is scratching your eardrums with a wire hanger before squirting lemon juice up on in there as well as His lyrics are so dumb, they make the Insane Clown Posse’s tunes sound like the musings of Socrates. Kid Rock shakes his head at this man-child and caps the piece off by saying Just go away, and take your braids with you. I didnt even include all of the B.S. rude comments on this artist. While I understand appealing to a young crowd means writing young and the producers of these pieces obviously are trying to be cool by being rude as with most playground bullies, but its infuriating as a person who has worked closely with the music industry and is a musician and writer myself. When any person pours their heart into something...anything, it should be given the respect of reviewing it objectively as one particular piece. Your job isnt to voice your opinion on this artist, because honestly, your opinion on them doesnt matter. Your review is a tool to introduce people to music they havent heard or to guide them in their music purchases. How dare you turn it into a roast, youre not a comedian, youre barely a writer, so have some damn respect. Not everyone is going to love everything and youre free to have your opinion about it, but your job is to tell me as a reader and music enthusiast what this album is in its essence. What other albums does it sound like? Whats the production value? In your opinion, what music inspired this album? Its an absolute shame that your standards are this low and these tangents are considered reviews. Its a real shame that the integrity of this publication (which Im sure some questioned in the first place) has degraded to the point where they accept schoolyard teasing as actual reviews. Reviewers everywhere are fighting to keep their voices heard, they train their ears and hone their musical knowledge to be able to be taken seriously and do a thorough job just to have their work tied to this internet troll buffoonery? Its unfair...and its a shame. #LanaDelRey #EdSheeran #RiffRaff #MetroTimes #reviews #Media #Responsibility #Bullies #Fluff #Rude #ResponsibleReporting #PerezHilton #Detroit #MetroDetroit
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 23:10:06 +0000
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