Dear Mr. Cameron, Im planning to move my family and extended family to Pakistan for my health and I would like to ask you to assist me with this. Were planning to simply fly from Britain to Pakistan and well need your help to make a few arrangements but we plan to skip all of the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. Im sure they handle those things in the same way you do here so, would you please mind telling your buddy, President Asif Ali Zardari, that Im on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following: 1. Free medical care for my entire family. 2. English-speaking Government bureaucrats for all services that we might need, whether we use them or not. 3. All Pakistani Government forms must be printed in English. 4. We want our grandkids to be taught Urdu by English speaking (bi-lingual) teachers. 5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on British culture and history. 6. We want my grandkids to see the British flag on one of the flag poles at their school. 7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast (Full English) and lunch. 8. We will need a local Pakistani drivers licence so that we can get easy access to government services. 9. We do plan to get a car and drive in Pakistan, but we dont plan to purchase car insurance, and we probably wont make any special effort to learn local traffic laws. 10. In case one of the Pakistani Police Officers does not get the memo and briefing from President Zardari to leave us alone. Please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer. 11. We plan to fly the British flag from my house top, put British Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on December 25th. We do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals. 12. We would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labour or tax laws enforced on any business that we may start. 13. Please have President Zardari tell all of the Pakistani people to be extremely nice and never ever say critical things about me or my family or mention about the strain we might place on their economy. 14. We want to receive free food stamps. 15. Naturally, well expect a home with at least four large bedrooms and all the usual free rent subsidies. 16. Well need income tax credits so that although we wont pay Pakistani taxes, well receive money from the government. 17. Please arrange it so that the Pakistani Government pays for our driving licence and then give me £5,500 to help me buy a new car. 18. We will need mobile phones and weekly top ups to fulfil our every need. 19. We will need a substantial grant to furnish our home to the high standard we have become accustomed to and help us fit in. 20. Oh yes, we almost forgot, please enrol me free into the Pakistan Social Security program so that well get a monthly pension cheque in retirement. We know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all of his people who fly to Britain from Pakistan. We are quite confident that President Zardari wont mind returning the favour if you ask him personally, very nicely. Thank you so much for your kind help
Posted on: Fri, 18 Oct 2013 20:45:05 +0000
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