Dear Paul, I write this through tears so if it makes no sense its because this situation doesnt make sense either. Im talking to someone who isnt here, but i still need to say it and on some level i know im not just talking to myself. Everyone knows I really never liked you, but many of them dont see that it is because I have ALWAYS loved you. On Danton Promenade, you didnt simply have neighbours, it was more like an extended family who lived in another compartment of a communal environment. Every house was just another door you could open and find brothers and sisters who may not have looked like you or thought like you, but you knew they were family, not just friends. McManns Goudas Vokouns, Rollos, Newtons, Martins, Vennings, Witters, Behmers @ and more... all family.... all loved I remember my first time meeting you and being shocked by you telling Milan, Jenn, Kim and I you couldnt play cards with us because they were Evil and gambling was the devil. We were puzzled by this but we tossed the cards away so that we could all play together and upon finding out that Manhunt was not evil we ran around chasing each other deep into the night. It wasnt until years later that i could understand why you parents tried to guard you from the temptations of sin. At the time all i knew was that the Green Box was home base and even as the street lights came on and the skies got dark none of us had to go inside because our families knew we were all safe together. Some times we played on separate teams, but we were all still one group.... Danton Fam Years later watching your heavily tattooed arms deal me a poker hand I was brought back to that moment. I remember clearly feeling as if wed both grown so far from the people our parents aimed to guide us into being. Still i was just filled with the feeling of pride in who wed both become. Im not often proud of myself, but you made me see good in myself that i didnt know was there. Growth and developments that i didnt see that were brought to light In the moment I didnt comment on it (out of fear you would have read my mind some how through my talking and magically known my cards) but in hindsight it was something I always wished id brought up.... I was proud of you. Youd transcended. While our parents may have had big plans for us, we always had other ideas and it was in my talks with you that i would often see that going out and getting the things you wanted in life was as easy as just making a choice and sticking to it. I owe you a lot man. I owe you more than just respect and thanks for the unconditional friendship you provided me but also I feel indebted to you for showing me that no matter what people tell you that you have to be youll only find happiness in being who you really want to be. You were the most charismatic and universally loved member of the Danton family and to lose you this soon isnt something any of us are ready for but i want you to know that while your brothers are left behind and dont have you to watch over them now, They still have me and while im only one tenth the man you ever were, the good news is that you have hundreds of men like me that will be here for them while you arent able. So while we may never be able to fill your shoes, I want you to know Ill spend my life telling stories of the good times we had and the ways you made people laugh. Im not a religious man, and while I know you believed in something i had a hard time being sure i knew what that something really was. What ever it was that you believed in towards the end i only hope that you are able to find tranquility now and that your family will be able to mourn the fact that you are no longer here briefly before realizing that instead they should celebrate that you were ever here at all. In life you brought us all together, for baseball, for beers and sometimes just to make fun of us and in the same breath make us feel loved. In death I know that this week youll bring us together again, I only hope you find a way to make us laugh and smile from the grave because if anyone could.. it would be you. Id do anything for one more argument, one more Baseball game, one more beer...but instead ill settle on having those drinks with your brothers because again, Youve Transcended. Thanks one more time, and know you are still loved and always will be. Martin Gouda
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 18:46:08 +0000
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