Dear Tales I am a 29 year oldnewly wedded Banker. About a year ago I decided to marry my 27year old teacherfiancée that I am totally in love withand we began preparations to walk down the aisle. I originally planned for a quiet wedding with family and close friends done at church and then small reception at home but my fiancée would not hear of it. She had always dreamt of how her wedding would be and it involved a very lavish affair that will have a lot of people and must be over the top with the expense. I tried to reason with her that my paycheck might not be able to cater for all that expense but she was adamant that it is my duty as a husband to be a provider so i should take this as my first test as a husband and provider and make it happen. Honestly I was very confused and unsure about what steps to take but I couldn’t disgrace myself in the eyes of my future wife so decided to find the funds to make her dream wedding happen. Firstly I began asking friends for loans and got a sizeable amount from some friends. I also then took a salary advance from my work place to add to my amount. I also added my savings I had set aside to invest into a business venture and finally in order to meet up to the expenditure of the wedding added the money set aside for rent for the year at my place, my fiancée also added a very little amount of money to the wedding expense though I knew she could afford a lot more. My fiancée assured me that we will be lucky and would get quite a lot of money from the invited guests who will give monetary gifts so I was very hopeful. I gathered all the money I could lay my hands on for the wedding and about 6months ago we had the wedding of my wife’s dreams. It was really lavish and was the talk of town for a while. Unfortunately my wife’s prediction of us getting monetary gifts did not come true. Rather most of the guests who attended and especially from her side of the family came to eat and drink heavily and catered off a lot more of the food and drinksas “Take Away”. Naa immediately after our wedding is when the real problems began; my friends that I borrowed money from under false pretenses started demanding their money after the time I gave for payback elapsed. I began running away from friends and pretending I had travelled constantly. I began getting so frustrated and I even began taking it out on my wife and snapping at her at the least provocation. This lead to us constantly fighting and arguing at home and it caused a huge rift between us. I was unable to use my salary to sort out the loans as I had already taken an advance that was being deducted and leaving practically nothing at the end of the month. A month ago our rent expired and as I had used the money neededfor the wedding and could not provide the landlord with the rent require, he gave us an eviction notice with just a few days to vacate his house. I was distraught and had no idea how to salvage the situation but wife on the other hand knowing that I had gotten myself into this situation in the pursuit of giving her the wedding of her dreams, instead of trying helping me figure out our next course of action or providing some money to help the situation ratherrudely asked me to “Act like a capable husband and sort it out” and when I do I should come to her mother’s house and get her and thereafter packed her things and moved to her mother’s house. I am currently squatting with a cousin and in a total mess. My wife and I are currently not on speaking terms and it is driving me insane. I feel confused and unsure about what to do. I wish I had done had things differently but now I am torn. I feel like divorcing my wife as she got me into this situation in the first place.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 17:10:50 +0000
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