Dear Well Intentioned White Person, I cant be your black friend. If you have to specify and that is the label you are superimposing on my place in your life then chances are we arent really friends. You are my community service outreach project, something to pad my resume for when I apply to be best human of the year. You are my supporting evidence, testimony that I can be kind even in the face of adversity. You are my adversity. Here are somethings you can do to be less irritating: 1) Ask a question. No, not that question. That was a stupid question. I mean a good question, like one that might not humiliate or offend me to answer. 2) Listen to the answer. Dont just stare and nod blankly waiting for me to finish speaking so you can invite me to another dinner party that requires you to provide a diversity showcase so your other friends can see how down you are. 3) Stop listening to gangsta rap like its something we can share together. 4) No you cant use the N word even if you are quoting Quentin Tarantino. Yes, the N word is inappropriate in all situations. For the love of God, please stop trying to come up with scenarios where you can say it. 5) Dont touch my hair. EVER. 6) Dont look so shocked when you ask me about my ancestors and I tell you they are from Iowa. Yes, really. Iowa. While your great, great, grandparents were sailing over from Europe, my great, great, grandma was picking burrs out of her hair from those asshole kids who were doing what asshole kids live to do...tormenting her in IOWA. 7) Google the definition of Diaspora. Apply it to history. 8) If you are curious as to what black people think...substitute black for the word white. If suddenly the question no longer makes sense because how could you possible squish what all white people think into the views of one single representative, then apply this logic to _______insert the ethnic group of your choice. 9) Find a cool ass White friend who has taken a lot of social justice courses and wants to be an ally to you. 10) Go hang out with that friend. Take some classes from people who are paid to help you become more educated and in 3-5 years feel free to write me that apology letter for all the ways you accidentally disrespected and dehumanized me. When you can name them all and even having a brief inkling of the way you made me feel, then maybe we could take a shot at being real friends. Until then...
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 22:33:55 +0000
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