Death and life. Two things that bring us all so much perspective. Im sure Ive written about this before.. but both events bring so much clarity to a person. Its as if youre able to see the world how youre really supposed to see it. After such events.. I always hope this feeling stays as long as possible. The feeling of really knowing what IS important and what is not. These past few days... saying goodbye my Grandpa brought about as many emotions that were as unexpected as his death itself. I was the first grandchild on both sides of my family. My sister came along 5 1/2 years later. My first cousin on my moms side of the family wasnt born until I was 13. There are a total of 14 grandchildren. So, if youre counting.. TWELVE were born after I was in my teens. Since the other is my sister.. thats 12 cousins I never really knew. The age gap was just too big. For many years, I felt like an Aunt to them... and even then - I just didnt know them. OR... I was busy criticizing bonehead decisions they were making.. forgetting too easily how many bonehead decisions I had made at their ages. Thus, tearing us apart. These past few days... it seemed as if because of time and their aging (Im not aging.. just them)... that gap between us has grown smaller. And, maybe to them I still seemed like their old cousin... but to me, it made my heart happy. As we pulled away from Jersey yesterday... before the kids passed out in the car, Charlie said, Mommy... I dont like that our family lives so far away. In that moment, I knew that its never too late... While I know were not moving back up north, and Im sure none of them are looking to move south any time soon... Im certain that its important that they are in my lives and me in theirs. Its important that Im able to show Ava and Charlie pictures of more of their family. Its time to be COUSINS with them, no matter the age difference or distance apart. When I stood up at the ambo to deliver my reading at the Mass yesterday & looked out at not only a packed church.. but at the first few reserved rows for my family... I was proud to be a part of it... Besides... Grandpa would want it this way, because family always came first. xoxoxo I really love you guys.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Jul 2014 23:34:56 +0000
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