Deciphering Academic Talk It has long been known = I didnt look up the original reference. A definite trend is evident = These data are practically meaningless. While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions = An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study = The other results didnt make any sense. Typical results are shown = This is the prettiest graph. These results will be in a subsequent report = I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. In my experience = once. In case after case = twice. In a series of cases = thrice. It is believed that = I think. It is generally believed that = A couple of others think so, too. Correct within an order of magnitude = Wrong. According to statistical analysis = Rumor has it. A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings = A wild guess. A careful analysis of obtainable data = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop. It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs= I dont understand it. After additional study by my colleagues= They dont understand it either. Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. A highly significant area for exploratory study = A totally useless topic selected by my committee. It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field = I quit.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:46:37 +0000