Deck the Halls BY James R. Edwards Christmas was cold and full of rain, On the day I fell off the roof and was full of pain. The lights undone and almost got killed, I don’t really want to see the bill I get billed. It’s not Christmas without some white snow, No family around, where shall I now go? Cookies, Taters, ham for all, Broke I am, so it’s Chinese at the mall. Buying my presents on the very last day, A brand new IPad, exactly how much did I pay? My credit cards are maxed, no money left at all, I can’t wear these clothes, I’m just too darn tall. The tree is trimmed and very, very pretty; So why in the hell is it all in Hello Kitty? The rug is all clean and very well laid out, Damn this frostbite, or maybe it’s just the gout The music is fine and so full of holiday cheer, To hell with the eggnog, where’s the damn beer? And to all the guests who are fun and being so hearty? Guess who’s hooking up this year at the party? Cards sent out to the one and the many Except Uncle George whose stuck down at the Denny’s. TV specials and concerts with no real worries, Frosty, Rudolph, and –No we are not watching a damn Christmas Story! Chestnuts roasting and ugly sweaters, Forget sugar plum dreams, my kids are bed wetters. The fat man in red has come and gone, What the hell did he do to my roof and my lawn? The children were in bed, ready for what comes next, Now for some privacy, I wonder if Ms. Claus like to text? The smells were nice and full of splendor, I really hope she likes the gift I sent her. ;) Asleep with the beer in my warm large lap, Wishing it was not warm, and definitely straight from the tap. Christmas Day is coming now, so very close and down to the wire Merry Christmas to al—OMG my nuts are on fire!
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 01:05:51 +0000
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