Did I read that sign right? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN. In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD. Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice in Health Food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS. Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESNT KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR. Notice in a farmers field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS. On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESNT WORK) Proofreading is a dying art, wouldnt you say? Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the local paper the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers! (Now thats taking things a bit far!) Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over! (What a guy!) Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isnt Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile! (Ya think?!) Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures. (Ahhhh, yeah!) Enfield (London) Couple Slain;Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (You mean theres something stronger than duct tape? Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group (Werent they fat enough?) Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas In Spacecraft (Thats what he gets for eating those beans!) Kids Make Nutritious Snacks! (Do they taste like chicken?) Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors And the winner is... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 08:05:19 +0000