Do you want to know what its like to have PMS? Ill tell you what its like to have PMS whether you want to hear it or not. You wake up in the morning feeling downright miserable. You dont like feeling miserable. You dont want to be miserable. So you decide not to submit to the miserableness and figure that the one thing that can bring you out of this mood is basboosa (a delicious Egyptian sweet). But you cant buy good basboosa where you (I) live in the UK. So you have to make it yourself. And youve been wanting to try that recipe your sister sent you. So you must go buy a few ingredients, one of which is a secret ingredient your sister swears is the way to the most delicious basboosa you will ever taste. You have never heard of this secret ingredient before in your life. You did not know such a thing existed. (I have to keep calling this a secret ingredient because the sister mentioned here [who might be a hypothetical sister since I am never supposed to mention any potential real ones] made me swear never to tell anyone what it is). So you get dressed and go out into a very rainy day to take a train to the city center. You go to one supermarket, two supermarkets, three supermarkets, four supermarkets, FIVE supermarkets but you dont find the secret ingredient. You were pretty sure you wouldnt anyway, so you are not disappointed. You solve this temporary conundrum by inviting yourself to a hamburger and onion rings. It temporarily works. You get back onto the train, walk back to the house in the rain, and go onto the Internet to find out where the largest superstore is in the area. You find two and write down their addresses. YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THIS BASBOOSA! You get into the car. Its dark. Its raining. But your head is so set on this idea that making basboosa will solve your lifes problems that you are willing to risk all to buy the secret ingredient. You follow the navigation system to the first supermarket you wrote down. It turns out its in a university student area. You decide its not worth even trying to park in this God forsaken part of town because university students cant possibly know what this secret ingredient is like you so their local supermarket will certainly not have stocked up on it. You make a u-turn and follow the navigation system to the second supermarket, several miles away. You make a wrong turn. You start getting agitated because of the rain and the dark. You can no longer properly see in the dark to begin with, and the navigation system has taken you onto a large ring road. How are you going to see the sign for the supermarket turn-off when it comes, you wonder? You see it at the last moment and make a sharp swerve off the road and into the supermarket parking lot. You grab a shopping cart and head immediately to the section that should carry your secret ingredient. Your eyes scan the shelves. You see many different versions of this ingredient except the one version you need. You decide that this is the right time to cry in public. And just as your first tears are manufacturing themselves in your lacrimal glands, you see it. THE SECRET INGREDIENT! THEY HAVE IT! You feel a momentary pang of relief. But then your PMSing head makes you think back to all the hardships you went through to get this secret ingredient, and you still want to cry. You feel stressed. You feel like life is just too hard for you to handle. But you realize this is the PMS talking and you tell yourself, You will NOT cry, young (old) lady. You will pick yourself up right now (figuratively, of course), get the rest of your ingredients (all normal stuff you know you will find), take them to the cashier, pay, walk to your car in the rain (it never stopped), and drive back home in the dark even if you cant see. AND YOU WILL MAKE YOURSELF THAT BASBOOSA. So you do all that except for the last part. Because you first have to write an all-important Facebook status about your gruelling experience because you know that everyone has spent the whole day wanting to know what youve been up to. THAT is what its like to have PMS.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 18:16:47 +0000
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