Dons Early Memories ( my new novel in the working stages) Chapter one As a teen I was maybe what you would might say kind of a little anti- authoritarian. This was due to the fact that as a child of the mid 50s and 60s and a teen in the 70s, I had seen the change that went through are country socially. To give you an idea of my way of thinking this might be a good example, it was an incident with a game warden when I was around 16. A friend and I were down on Claude William farm shooting sage rats after changing irrigation pipe, as always at this time in my life there was a little beer involved with may have influenced this adventure just a smidge, we shot until we ran out of beer and ammo, at which time a great idea hit me. I got two fishing rods from behind the seat and proceeded to tie slip knots at the end of the line and set them carefully over the rats hole and stripping enough line out to reach the bed of my pick-up. Deploying the folding lounge chairs used for fishing we sat there and finished our last beer. The finishing of the beer was so important because after drinking I lit up a cigar and gave one to my friend. As we were sitting in the back of the pickup smoking a cigar when a game warden drove up looking mighty official this of course set my mind racing. Looking around he notice the guns in the gun rack and asked us for our hunting license. My reply was the guns are empty and there is no ammo here so hunting we were not. Next he asked the stupid question, what are you doing with the fishing poles? In which I politely replied fishing for sage rats. The stupid look on his face was priceless. May I see your fishing license then he asked? My reply was simple, can you show me where in the rule book it says you need a fishing license to fish on dry land for sage rats and how dumb this really would appear in court and say nothing about to the judge. Just a little steam started to appear around his collar at this time. Don I want to see your driver license, we live in a small town somehow he was aware of me for some time, my reply was I was on private property so I do not need a drivers license and besides where in the rule book says you need a drivers license to set in the back of a pickup fishing for sage rats? At that the fumes were boiling and at this time I apparently deserved to have my vehicle searched, go figure. No problem I stated, so as he started searching when it happened. Fish on I yelled and started reeling in my first sage rat ever this dumbfounded the warden as he watch me reel in nice sized rat and as the rat got closer my friend without missing a beat put on his work gloves. The rat was hoisted into the truck bed untied and placed in my cooler full of empty beer cans and the lid slammed shut. I walked out to redeploy my line over another active hole as the game warden looked on. Needless to say this distracted the officer enough that the vehicle search was over, he did not even look into the cooler for some reason unknown to me... Then came the last two questions, the first was do you guys eat the sage rats? Of course, the answer was, no they are rats. Puzzle now his final official question, then what do you do with them, he inquired just a little bit more frustrated if that was possible? My response was the last straw; we use them as bait when we are fishing for rattlesnakes. I personally was appalled when he hopped in his pickup without even saying goodbye and drove off. You see I was raised to have manners and thought public employees such as wardens should be held at higher standards when dealing with the law abiding public. I have often wondered what was in the officer’s notebook about this encounter with me and what if anything about it was ever said over coffee around the police station. I have to admit though; I thought there seemed to be a conspiracy from that day on until the warden transferred to catch me doing anything wrong. But that day all I did was reached under the seat and pulled out my fifth of hermitage that rode in the spring in the middle of my seat where nobody ever set and redirected my attention to the more serious pursuit, fishing for sage rats, smoking good cigars and of course drinking. What did we really do with the rats is a completely different story. Hopefully you will stay tuned for those exploitations, until then good bye, see I do have great manners. Thanks for stopping bye and hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it. Chapter Two For those who do not know a sage rat is a ground squirrel and is closely related to the grey digger. Farmer and ranchers hate them in Central Oregon because when they irrigate their fields the water goes down the hole instead of onto the crop which generally feeds the cattle or is the way they make a living by selling the crop. The sage rat also eats the vegetation which is like having someone in your wallet borrowing the greenbacks with no intentions of giving any of them back. Just one pair of these critters is capable of producing hundreds after just a few generations. Hunting these critters after the crop grows up in the spring is nearly impossible because they can hide so well in the tall fields. Anyone can shoot them during the spring, I dedicate around a thousand rounds a season helping people control the population, however many years ago I created a whole new sport that is both exciting and relaxing. Sitting in a lawn chair in the back of a pickup gives you a much better view to shoot these critter but the game wardens will write you a reminder note letting you know that this is illegal. So to save money in the court room I came up with the sport of fishing for the rats. This can be done with multiple hooks for those who don’t believe in catch and release or with slip knots for those of the more devilish nature. In the proceeding chapter I wrote about how this method confuses the game warden to the point they do not even stop bye to ask what you are doing except maybe the first time. Now you are not going to hook or noose very many sage rats because this is a sport that you must become highly skilled and pretty drunk or wasted to enjoy fully. However the true fun in this sport comes not from catching the sage rat but during the next morning. Be advised that this portion just might be considered slightly illegal depending on everybody’s sense of humor. To enjoy the sport of rat boxing, I would suggest a good spotting scope as well as a good advantage point with enough cover to blend into the landscape before trying this part of the sport. To get the most out of this phase of the sport calls for some scouting in advance because you don’t want your living sage rats to stand around too long and get hot and tired during their experience with, this takes away a lot of the fun and excitement out of rat boxing. Next you need if possible to find something that can contain the sage rat until the right time comes along, like a metal box with a red flag on it so anyone will know that there is something in the box, we would not want to catch anyone without a warning that would be cruel. Now we all know being a rural post man during spring weather can relax more not having to deal with ice and snow. To keep the diligent I find my sport keeps them on their toes and if all goes right on the headliner of their vehicle. When they stick their hand into the mailbox and a half crazed rat scurries out exciting things happens for the carrier, often coffee is dropped, heads hit the roof and pants become wet either from the coffee or more natural causes, sometimes time things might end on a more solid other problem as you might imagine. Note it is always better to use the Nabors mailbox than your own especially if you get you checks in the mail. The best reason isn’t the mailman boycotting your mailbox but to bring a little excitement to your rural friends. I found those mailmen that have a sense of humor or short fuse will confront your Nabors with a good story about just how fun this sport is. Those a little more reserved might send the postmaster out, what an honor to have such a dignified high ranking representative of the nation stop bye to visit. Your Nabors might stop bye and share their visit with the postman or his superior with you. Then like any sport there are those that hate it, although it only takes one experience to understand that your carrier is of this mindset. If the federal bureau of investigation shows up in your area discussing the legality of your sport it might be time to visit friends a bit further away from home, I call this the away game strategy. Please do not substitute the sage rate with its enemy the bull snake because this is not funny and is way too much fun for government worker to endure. This should happen only after the postman has left and before the Nabors arrive. Careful planning must accomplish this sport also because you do not want your friends see you with your hand in their mailbox. However watching them stick their hand in is a great spectator sport. This is not recommended for the Nabors that have a pacemaker or other heart conditions. In addition it is best to use your sage rat only once to keep the P.E.T.A. folks from thinking you are cruel. In my vast experience very few of the animals ever get hurt, however a few have become stressed from the yelling but survive with a good story for their grand children. The humans have experienced similar results so it is an even match which makes this such a great sport.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Jul 2013 17:32:20 +0000
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