Dont use Allahs name punitively to control your young childrens behaviour. It creates unnecessary fear that can lead to developmental, emotional, and spiritual problems that will be manifested later in life. Children are in need of their parent’s guidance in order to nurture them towards healthy development. Young children do not have the capacity to understand rationally, reason, or discern between right and wrong, and we know that they are not held to account by Allah for their wrong actions. They lack the ability for higher order thinking. Sometimes parents resort to using the fear of Allahs punishment in order to manage their childrens behaviour, a negative reinforcement to get them to perform the parents behaviour of choice. For example, If you dont clean your room, Allah will get angry and put you in hell or If you dont obey me, Allah will put you in hell. One of the ways a parents can shape their child’s behaviour, while still maintain an honest reflection of Allah swt is to associate a desired behaviour with Allahs pleasure. For example, “Allah loves those who help their parents” or “Allah is most pleased with you when you are helping me around the house because Allah loves children who obey their parents, and He loves cleanliness because it is part of faith. These are simple, but highly effective ways that honour Allah swt without misusing Allah’s name in creating unnecessary fear. Aligning and attaching the love of Allah with doing good is important so that helpful thoughts could be cultivated and manifested into good behaviour and healthy development. So please, use Allah’s (swt) name in goodness to bring up your righteous and emotionally healthy children inshaAllah.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 04:14:07 +0000
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