DrumJokes • How do you tell if the stage is level? The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth. • How can you tell a drummers at the door? The knocking speeds up. • Whats the last thing a drummer says in a band? Hey guys, why dont we try one of my songs? • What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless. • How can you tell when a drummers at the door? He doesnt know when to come in. • What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream. • How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart coulda done it. • How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they have a machine to do that now. • How can you tell when the drum riser is level? Drool comes out of both sides of the drummers mouth. • Why didnt the little drummer boy get into heaven? Because he woke the baby for Christs sake! • What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted. • What do you call a Drummer in a Volkswagen? Farfromthinken. • What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality. • Whats the best way to confuse a drummer? Put a sheet of music in front of him. • Hey buddy, how late does the band play? Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer. • Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? Because it can keep good time and wont sleep with your girlfriend. • Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me either. • How do you get a drummer to play quieter? Put a chart in front of him • Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So they can park in the handicapped spot. • What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer. • How can you tell when a drummers at the door? The knocking speeds up. • How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You can tell its coming, but you cant do anything about it. • Did you hear about the drummer who went to college? Me neither. • How do you get a drummer off your porch? Pay him for the pizza. • What does the average drummer get on an IQ test? Drool. • What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless. • Whats the last thing the band wants to hear the drummer say? Hey guys, wanna try one of my songs? • Whats the first thing a drummer says when he moves to LA? Would you like fries with that sir? • Why do bands have bass players? To translate for the drummer. • How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you? You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground. • I once asked a drummer how to spell Mississippi. He said, the river or the state? • Why did the drummer stare at the frozen juice can? Because it said, Concentrate. • How do guitar players get away with parking in the handicap spots? They put drumsticks on the dash. • What do you call a dozen drummers at the bottom of the sea? A good start! • Did you hear about the drummer who got accepted to Yale? Neither did I. • What do you call a kid with a set of drums? The poster child for Birth Control. • What do you call a bunch of kids with drums? Jerrys Kids. • What would you call the smartest drummer in the world? Mildly retarded. • What do you call 10 guys in a drum circle? A dope ring. • What has three legs and an asshole? A drum stool. • What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? One will mature and make money. • Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither. • What do you call a beautiful woman on a drummers arm? A tattoo. • Why do drummers have lots of kids? Theyre not too good at the Rhythm Method. • Whats the difference between a large pizza and a drummer? The pizza can feed a family of four. • Whats the difference between a high school drumline and shoes in a dryer? Nothing • Hey there, how late does the band play? Oh about half a beat behind the drummer. • How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando? Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm. • What do you do if you accidentally run over a drummer? Back up. • What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Overqualified. • What is the difference between a bad drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug one of them in before it sucks. • How can you make a drummers car more aerodynamic? Take the Pizza sign off of it. • Whats the biggest lie told to a drummer? Hang on a minute and Ill help you with your gear. • Why are band breaks limited to only 20 minutes? So you dont have to retrain the drummer. • What did the drummer say to the band leader? Do you want me to play too fast or too slow? • Whats the biggest lie told to drummers? Hold on, Ill help you with your gear.
Posted on: Fri, 16 Jan 2015 15:35:24 +0000
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