During a heated conversation last night, the phrase You take things too personally was directed at me. Not having heard that very often in the last few years, it suddenly occurred to me that in my 62.5 years, I can remember very few women saying that to me. The people who have said that to me have been men, particularly patriarchal or would-be patriarchal authority figures, and women who wanted me to shut up. I think that part of good stress hygiene is applying a three-step process to dealing with people who dump their crap on you - or try to. STEP 1: considering the likely (based on fact and logical inference, not speculation) reasons that the other person is projecting negativity and aggression, i.e., empathy. STEP 2: pinpointing the reasons why the other person is projecting that negativity and aggression toward you, again, based on situational fact and logical inference. STEP 3: making sure as calmly and clearly as you can that the other person understands that it is not okay for him/her to do that again. Happy Friday and youre welcome. You know who you are.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:05:56 +0000
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