Elders - The Path of Knowledge to Wisdom I was like most kids growing up. My parents were always trying to give me advice and I was always to telling them that ‘I already knew stuff.’ This probably sounds like most modern parent-child relationships. What was particularly troubling was that I was the self-proclaimed ‘good child.’ Not to say that my sister and brother were not – but I always felt a deep internal need to make my parents happy. I am sure a psychologist would have a field day with this. But for me it was very simple. I knew my parents had a challenging life. They painfully left one country during wartime, only to later immigrate to another country. They uprooted a third time to struggle to make roots in our adopted homeland Canada. Each move was difficult and each was made to secure a better life for their children. I watched them work very hard to make ends meet always sacrificing their own happiness for us. This awareness gave me a strong sense of loyalty towards them. Plus I was a bit of a momma’s boy –as my sister would always remind me! ☺ During the regular onslaught of lectures from my parents growing up, I would listen and obediently nod my head. Meanwhile my mind was whirling with my own ideas - debating their opinions and creating alternatives that I thought were mine. Sometimes I would try to challenge them. But my intellectual nemesis was my father. It is hard to debate with a man that had travelled the world and experienced more that most would in a lifetime. I may have been gifted as a child – but my father was brilliant. Perhaps modern day processed food and some crappy genes gave me only a small sliver of his genius. Bummer for me as a kid! ☹ But my view on my parents and elders shifted as I grew up. I was fortunate to have met some inspirational and gifted educators. Some were formal teachers and others were community leaders. I remember apologizing to my gifted Grade 11 English teacher for my parents showing up (again) for a parent-teacher meeting to check up if I was ‘behaving’ in class! His response hit me like a ton of bricks. ‘Muzammal, do you think you would have been able to move to another country, learn a new language and culture and survive?! Your parents are special, they love you and you are very lucky. One day you will see.’ I am glad that I finally did understand. The many years of growing up were filled with lessons learned from my parents. __________________________________________________________ During the first part my trip we are traveling through Spain on an educational tour that looks at the history of Spain during the Andalucian era. I wanted my son Haytham to have the opportunity to learn from a scholar and historian who is leading this tour. Abdullah Hakim Quick is an amazing man. He is of African and Native decent and has life experience in all parts of the world. He was one of my mentors growing. Years later on I would run a Leadership Program for his Toronto based agency – ISRA - working with inner city kids. Even though I was leading programs – he always reminded me to stay grounded, humble and learn from my elders. Now I wanted my son to share from a man of that inspired me many years ago. But the unexpected has inspired me - watching with my son with my parents. Age has creped up on my mom and dad. My once strong father is now hard of hearing, quiet and much slower. My mother is still sharp but age has also affected her too. Yesterday we were on a tour of the Spanish city of Toledo and I lost sight of my parents. We were climbing a steep hill and I was worried about them. Both have bad knees, severe arthritis, and a host of other health issues. I scrambled to find them. Then off to my left I saw Haytham holding my mothers hand helping her walk up the hill. He was listening to her talk while making sure she walked carefully on the cobblestone path. It was at that moment that I realized that my son was acquiring wisdom on his own.
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 21:47:48 +0000
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