Epic Self-Deprecating Diary Entry #1001: Today, driving home on the highway, traffic all of a sudden went from 60 to 20 really really quickly. Almost to a dead stop. What did I do? Slam on the brakes and skid oh God for like forevvvvvver. Burning rubber. Start to get nervous. An overwhelming smell of burning rubber. Im ok, nobody got hit. Box truck behind me is really pulling back, so I get more nervous. Oh wait. Is my car smoking? Does he know something I dont know, Is it going to explode? I pull over. Put the emergency lights on, grab my gloves and pocketbook so in case the car explodes, I will at least have my ID and my gloves. And then? Lock my keys IN the car. Oh, hi, highway. Its fa-reeeeeeeeeeezing out. Lets kick back and watch traffic for a while, pacing, trying to stay warm. It occurs to me that I could start dancing, ie start doing some ballet, to un-freeze. AAA: Were calling the cops to let them know. And you are a priority for 2 reasons, 1. Youre on the highway and 2. Youre locked out of your car. So the very next truck thats available will be yours. Make sure to answer the # you dont recognize. Oh, of course. Then, we hang up and my phone goes from 1% to DEAD. So of course, on the day I forget my hat, and on the evening thats ridiculously blustery freezing cold out, Im standing like an idiot not even really fully pulled over in the shoulder of the highway, locked out of my car, standing now behind the Jersey barrier, waiting for some guy with a sleeve tattoo and a pretty badass lip ring to save me from myself. #fml #coldasice #dumbass #happyholidays #thankyouforsavingme #myyyyyhero #fromnowonwillkeepasparekeyinmybra #interpretivedance #highwayballet
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 02:29:09 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015