Eulogy I gave for Mom last Friday: When I think about my mother, Beulah Ethel Van Etten Hayden, the words I think of are intelligence, strength, hard work sacrifice and love. And humor. She had an innate intelligence that allowed her to skip through her first four grades in two years and graduate from high school at 15 years old. She killed at Jeopardy and Scrabble...I think she knew every seven letter and/or odd words there were in the English language. She was strong in defense of her family, in her work and in her faith. In her 80s, after losing her husband, my father Joseph and 2 of her sons, Thomas and Matthew, she had the strength to take on raising Matthews boys, Chris and Jordon, through high school. She would sacrifice anything for the ones she loved. While raising us, her 7 children, there were years she rarely left the house, bought a new dress or did anything just for herself. She followed my father around the country as the Air Force dictated and took responsibility for everything when he was away at duty stations we couldnt follow. She was amazing and resorceful. And her skills in the kitchen, stretching a dollar and still making great meals, were legendary. And love. She loved her family, first and foremost. Close friends, flowers, butterflies, birds. All would bring a smile to her face. She loved her country and our President who, I think, was the first politician to whom she ever contributed a dollar. Oh, and she loved baseball, the Red Sox and Tiger Woods-until he messed up. And babies. There wasnt one squally baby that couldnt bring a smile to her face. Her humor. It wasnt the type of humor in a joke-telling kind of way. No, she could not tell a joke to save her life. She would have all the parts of a joke but invariably mix up the subjects, tell the punch line too soon...it was almost like punch line dyslexia. No, her humor sprung from every day happenstance...for example. On a warm spring day of 1969 I riding slowly with her, windows down, on Main Street Falmouth when my eyes noticed, as a boy of 14 might, a couple of girls dressed for warm weather. Mom, noticing my noticing and without taking her eyes away from traffic, let out a low wolf whistle that must have been heard in the next county. Well, at least the girls heard and snapped their eyes around to see me, sitting in the car with my mother. If I could have turned invisible I would have. Not funny to me at that moment but Ive been laughing about it ever since. I was going through some old videos of Mom and found one of her saying goodbye from Massachusetts, saying that, if she could, she would come back up for Christmas. That was when it hit me that, no, we wouldnt be seeing her then. But then I thought that, yes, I would see her. I would see her in her children, grand children and great grandchildren...every time I see a cardinal, a monarch butterfly, a chocolate cake, a lilac bush in bloom..I will see her. Goodbye Mom. See you later.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Feb 2014 03:04:25 +0000
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