Even though I turned 30 and thought I would be depressed as hell about it, this is the first birthday since my 21st where I wasnt depressed at all. Funny because this is also the first birthday since my 18th where I was also single. Coincidence? I dont believe in coincidences. Ive actually never been happier. I spent so many years trying to make someone else happy I forgot about my own happiness. I hope this doesnt sound selfish because its not meant to be, but its been a relief to focus on myself for the last several months. Ive learned so much about myself. Im still pretty much the same person, but I have such a deeper understanding of what makes me who I am. For the first time in as long as I can remember I understand what I need in life. I understand what makes me happy. I may be alone, but I never feel lonely anymore. I felt more lonely when I was in relationships because I was missing myself. While I do believe its nice to have someone who loves you and is there for you, I also believe you have to be able to love and be with yourself. Im sure Ill find someone who will take my breath away and I can grow old with. Im sure my soul mate is still out there somewhere waiting to give me butterflies. But now I found my own soul so I have something to give that person. How great it truly is to be this free and happy. I have an awesome family, the absolute most wonderful friends on earth, and now I have a true understanding of myself. Life is so bizarre. One chapter ended and it broke my heart and killed me inside. I could have never imagined there would be this beautiful story when I turned the page. How amazing life has become. It only makes me more excited for the next chapter. Let the good times roll and keep the pages turning. You never know when youll find your fairy tale. Be patient and understanding. Everything comes to you at the perfect time...
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 00:11:21 +0000
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