Every little thing in this world, reminds me of you, every song, every car ride, every store. Every breath I take makes me feel selfish, selfish that Im alive and able to breath and you arent. I feel guilt, guilty that I was pregnant and couldnt go to buffalo with you to help get the care you needed. If I had gone maybe things would have been different, I would have hounded them and demanded answers. And even though I got to apologize and tell you how sorry I was for everything I ever put you through, I still feel guilty, Im so frustrated that god chose to take not one but both of my parents. Im angry with him, for not taking someone else who doesnt want to be here. I wish I could erase the memory of you crying and telling me you dont want to die, that your not ready, and that you want to stay here and be with us and watch avalyn grow. But I cant erase memories, and I cant change the fact your gone, I just pray your here with me, and one day, well be together again. 💕
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 21:46:41 +0000
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