Exactly 730 days ago, I was given the, un-explainable honor, and divine joy, of taking my bride in a marriage covenant, and how happy my heart sings for her, as she is my glory. I have learned many key elements to healthy marriage, and while always imperfect, and much still to learn, I feel compelled to be open and share. It has been the worst and best two years of both of our lives. We have fought, and yelled, laughed, and cried. ( Im man enough to admit it.) We have lost sleep many a night, We have tightly embraced each other, seated on the floor on several occasions over pointless, and dead arguments. I do not recall what the fights were even about because the following interlocking hugs were always pure mutually provided security and love. We have dimmed each others joy in life with harmful words and actions, and even become pridefully bitter at times...we waisted precious time serving our own wants and desires before serving the other, not providing even one open ear, refusing our very hearts. Becoming consumed by pride in pursuit of being right, selfish principle, or a want to always change the other, we surely found stumble. The quickest and most effective way to make ANYBODY your enemy is this; try to change them. Arrogant demands as we pained ourselves in toil, un-forgiving, and never sorry, we lost site of our point being joined as one, as point became pointed fingers in apposite blame, one vs. the other. But how the urge to be right gives such addictive instant gratification, and we partook all to often, while all we really gained was suffer. The urge to be right or win always, gives a false sense of power and identity, when really its just a primal urge of flesh. Animals or mankind, we choose. I am sure most marriages struggle with same symptoms to different degrees, so I encourage myself, my family and all who read with the following. What I will say to all is do not loose heart, in fact find joy in your sorrow. Discipline and sharpening your heart in higher love brings a blessing that makes normal exciting pleasures seem like dog food at a five course meal. Do not ever try to dominate, control, or dim that precious light in your wife or husband. Listen and pursue who they are and what they need from you. Men....women are worthy of your servitude, honor, love, heritage, protection, nourishment and( ear opened, focused love.) Women, men need your loving respect and acknowledgement for our role as serving leader. Make him feel that you are his, as he is yours. Women control how much honor exists in marriage, if you give none to your husband you will not receive much if any. Men control how much love and forgiveness exists in the marriage. Have peace and find encouragement; that the Father will not cause pain, without allowing a new birth. Be kind to one another, because inside your spouse is the desire for love, which is as innocent as a childs desire, for the love of their parents. They need you in a desperate way, do not be cruel and selfish. The hard times are hard, any great thing is hard to earn. But, true honor, grace, and forgiveness are exercised as selfless gifts or acts and should never be hard to attain, and cannot justly be earned. Stand and fight for the best thing worth fighting for; arm yourself with patience, hope, and love. My heart was hard, and falling out of love...But now I have never been more in love with Brooke Toler and I am only beginning to fall. Do not forsake the family and stay the course, May God bless us all as we bless each other, under his protection, love, and truth. I Love you Brooke, you are my treasure. Happy anniversary. God speed to all!
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 17:48:12 +0000
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