FIVE LEVELS/ STAGES OF EVERY RELATIONSHIP ATTRACTION. The first stage is the Attraction Stage. Its when you first meet the other person and you cant get him or her out of your mind. You are completely fascinated with the other person. You think everything he or she says and does is great! OBSESSION You wonder, Where has this person been all my life? You want to learn more about him or her as well as share yourself. You call him or her on phone every minute of the day. The relationship is fun, it feels good and you want it to last forever! You dream about all the possibilities of where the relationship can go. You think, The future looks better than it ever has before. You are just obsessed about him/her. OBSTRUCTION But, if the relationship is to mature and move forward, it will enter the third. At this stage, you will of a sudden start seeing things you are not okay with. The feelings may just evaporate like vapors. Arguments occur. Certain things will begin to bother you. You may also start to feel as though your partner has suddenly changed. This is also the stage where most break-ups occur. People feel like they must have picked the wrong one, again. Compared to the feeling of the unlimited possibilities and the highs during the Attraction Stage to the judgments and lows of the obstruction Stage, this Stage feels very disastrous. What most people fail to understand is that during this time, the relationship is crying out for a higher level of trust between the participants since the relationship has just changed. The arguments that arise are really about testing each others level of commitment to the longevity of the relationship. Each partner is truly wondering, Can I trust you? Can I be vulnerable with you? Can we work out our problems together or will you exit Stage Right? and other questions. If the relationship does not move to the next level, and the partners continue to stay together, the relationship will continue to exist within this stage. It is a relationship of adversaries ¬ and, in my opinion, not a desired one. COOPERATION The fourth stage is the Cooperation Stage. This is where you learn to trust one another and to resolve disagreements to your mutual satisfaction and benefit. You learn to share power and appreciate each others unique abilities, gifts and weaknesses. During this stage, however, each partner is still very self-oriented. The focus is: What can I get out of this relationship? rather than What can we create with this relationship but the truth is that there is a level of cooperation between the two parties. SYNERGY The fifth stage of a relationship is Synergy. At this stage, there is a realization of a power greater than that of each individual. You are no longer self-oriented; its more about: What can we create here? There is extraordinary satisfaction, intimacy and a deep sense of mutual trust, empowerment and ease. This stage can feel like the Attraction Stage, but with a lot more history, depth, reality and acceptance. This is where you reap the harvest of your labors. The relationship is highly rewarding with little effort. Do you see how understanding the stages can prove helpful in understanding why certain things happen in your relationships at certain times? I encourage you to examine all of your past relationships and see if they follow these stages. Notice what stage you were in when your relationship ended. Also examine your present relationships. What stage are they currently in? Knowing this will allow the transition to be much easier and quicker and result in a more satisfying and loving relationship!
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 13:24:13 +0000