FSM:s 8 budord 1. Id Really Rather You Didnt Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Dont Believe In Me, Thats Okay. Really, Im Not That Vain. Besides, This Isnt About Them So Dont Change The Subject. 2. Id Really Rather You Didnt Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People. 3. Id Really Rather You Didnt Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless Were Talking About Fashion And Im Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia. 4. Id Really Rather You Didnt Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change. 5. Id Really Rather You Didnt Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******. 6. Id Really Rather You Didnt Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator. 7. Id Really Rather You Didnt Go around Telling People I Talk To you. Youre Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Cant You Take A Hint? 8. Id Really Rather You Didnt Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly Its A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didnt Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 23:12:36 +0000
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