FUNERAL ANNOUCEMENT It is with great sorrow that we have to announce that a prominent Zambian brain shaker Mosi Lager is dead. A Zambian Breweries spokesman Mr Castle Lager confirmed the death yesterday. Mr Mosi Lager, who has lived in this country for over thirty years, is survived by a wife Amarula and three children Fanta, Coca-Cola and Sprite. The deceased fell from the third floor of Circles Nite Club Cooler where he was chilling with his South African mistress Hunters Gold. Drunkards suspect foul play and have reported the matter to the State Police who have since picked up Mosi Lager’s concubines Autumn Harvest and Green Valley together with his notorious close friend Rhino Lager to help with investigations. Messages of condolences have continued to pour in from Ambassadors accredited to the country such as Amstel, Windhoek , Ohlssons, Savanna and Heineken. A family spokesperson who announced the burial arrangement said that the deceased will lie in sate at Chez Ntemba Nite Club. The Archbishop Chibuku and Reverend Shake Shake will conduct a funeral service tomorrow before proceeding to Leopards Hill Cemetery for burial. Kaingo and Chipolopolo will be the ushers. The coffin will be carried by Pall Bearers Katubi, Mbamba, Katata, ‘Big Bomb’ Kachasu and Seven Days. A 21 gun salute will be fired by the 4th Battalion, Kachasu Brewers Regiment all the way from Zambezi while a combined Brass Band by Whisky Black and Château Brass Bands will play solemn music as the coffin is being lowered. Among the mourners to attend the burial are members of the Diplomatic Corps, Lavell Brandy, Jack Daniels, Pirate Rum, Teachers, Black Label, Smirnoff, John Walker, Champagne and His Excellency the Russian President Pushkin
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 20:29:49 +0000
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