Father Remembers By: Marie E. Ebersole Neil reminisces about - TopicsExpress

Father Remembers By: Marie E. Ebersole Neil reminisces about his life with his grown daughter. The late autumn afternoon sun cast shadows across the porch where my father sat. At age 73 he was still a handsome man. His rugged features were deeply etched by time and worry, his blue eyes still bright with life. The hair that he ran those capable hands through was no longer red; time had faded it to gray. His voice still carried that distinct mixture of Scottish burr and mountain twang. My mother was off with my sister so father and I were taking a rare opportunity to spend time together. There was so much I wanted to ask him. I was beginning a new book on my mothers experiences teaching at the back woods mission where she had met my father. Although she and I had talked many times I never really had a chance to see my fathers view of what had happened. I wanted to know what had drawn this independent mountain man to the young outsider my mother had been. I knew from talking to my mother and my adopted Grandmother Alice that long before my mother entered his life, my father had been married to Alices daughter Margaret. I knew the union had not been a happy one. I was surprised that a man as stubborn as my father would be willing to take another chance at love. I watched him sitting in his favorite chair on the porch taking in the view of his beloved mountains. “Dad, when was the first time you saw mom? “The first time I laid on eyes on your mother was in the Spencers cabin. Bob Allen had been injured while walking to El Pano to meet your mother, and they brought him there so I could treat him. His eyes grew warm with the memory. “So what drew you to her? “At that time you two were not exactly what most would consider an ideal match. Dad settled back into his chair and his eyes closed as traveled to that time long ago and far away. “The first time I laid eyes on your mother I knew she was someone very special. There was such an energy about her. You could see it in the way her eyes sparkled. Even when she was disheveled from her trek from El Pano she still had a light about her. I will admit when your mother walked on the scene I was not ready to give my heart to anyone. My first marriage had gone badly. Although it had been many years I still was not ready to give my heart to anyone. I had my practice, my research, and the people of the cove. My life was full, I didnt need some young snip of an outsider coming in and changing things, and I most certainly did not need her God. But seeing your mother there in the cabin that night, something began to melt in my heart. I felt my resolve breaking down. I just had to find out more about this woman so full of energy and light. As the days went by I began to make excuses for dropping by the mission. If Alice suspected what was behind my sudden interest in the mission, she didnt let on. Rev. Grantland, being a man, suspected right away. Father chuckled at the memory of his many clashes with the young minister over Mothers affections. “Grantland was not happy to say the least. I knew that he fancied himself in love with your mother. At the time he viewed me as a necessary but not welcomed intrusion. He really didnt have a choice, after all I was the only doctor in the cove. At first your mother and I did not get along. I kept pushing her and challenging her. I questioned everything from her motives for coming to the cove to her faith in God. I wanted to know why such a pretty young woman would leave a comfortable life to endure the harshness of the cove. I just assumed she was in it for self-glory, to make the cove more like the rest of the world. I couldnt give credit to God wanting to provide for us. To me God was harsh, judgmental, never giving out anything other than punishment to innocent people. I couldnt understand how anyone could just completely rely on such a harsh being. Science was logical, practical, devoid of emotion. No one would get hurt, I wouldnt get hurt. It was comfortable; I did not have to give up control. As a man of science I was in control. I grew more curious about this man who had given life to me. Growing up I had heard stories about my father. I knew that he had come to God late in life. I knew that his faith in God was a sure and strong as the great smoke covered mountains of his youth and mine. I never realized before just how far Father had come to find that faith. I had to know more. Pressing on, I continued on the journey of knowing my father. I was curious to see what the next bend in the path would bring. “Dad, it sounds like you were far from God, in those days. What made you change your mind? Dad chuckled, “It was a five foot bundle of blonde hair, blue eyes and stubbornness that made me change my mind. You mean Mom? But how? You said you were so set in your ways, and you obviously didnt think of her as any more than a stubborn female. How did she finally get you change? Fathers eyes got that faraway look, as he traveled back to those early days of his relationship with Mother. “No matter how much I challenged her or the harshness of life in the cove challenged her, she never gave up. Those early days were not easy for your mother. The people of the cove were loyal to those they trusted. If you were an outsider, you had to earn that trust. A lot of it was pride and stubbornness, handed down from generation to generation. We had always been able to exist without help from the outside world, we didnt need help. Nevertheless, your Mother and Alice saw that life could be better, by relying on God. That there was more to life than just existing. They wanted to share that joy and love with the people of the cove. Wanted them to realize that God was not a God of punishment, but a God of love. A God that could be relied on to provide for His people. A God that had joy that made the mountains for his children to enjoy the beauty. However, through it all, no matter how many times people rejected your mother, she never gave up. If anything she would try harder. About eight months after your mother came to Cutter Gap, there was a typhoid epidemic. I honestly expected her to turn tail and run back home. She didnt. Your mother stayed and helped where she could. It was a hard time for her. Fairlight Spencer died during the epidemic. She had been your mothers closest friend in the cove. Fairlights death devastated her. Although your mother started to lose faith in God, in the end it deepened it. I saw something in your mother during that time. A strength of character, that began to draw me like a moth to a lantern light. I guess God had been after me all those years and I had been too pig headed to listen. I began to realize that there was more to your mothers actions than self-glory. She had such a love for the people of the cove. I could see it in the way she dealt with her students. They loved her; she was more than a teacher to them. That cold spot that was my heart began to thaw. Towards the end of the typhoid epidemic, your mother fell victim to it. I was so afraid of losing her. The idea of losing something that was so precious to me left me feeling very vulnerable. I felt like a fawn lost in the woods. The more I searched for answers in all the normal places, the more lost I became. I tried everything my medical training could offer to save your mother. When it looked like I would lose her to death, it hit me. The one thing I had rejected, the one person I had rejected was the one thing that could possibly save her, save me. I felt this overwhelming weakness; I tried to fight it. Logically it didnt make sense. For me to become weak to become strong. To give up instead of fight on. I was sitting beside your mothers bed. She was burning up with fever and unconscious. All of a sudden I realized what had given your mother the strength to carry on, a total surrender to Gods power in her life. The words began to tumble out of my mouth. My mind was racing with the memories of how many times I had turned away from God. He had me at His mercy and he wouldnt let me go. As I poured out my heart to God and begged Him to forgive me I felt a warmth flow through my body. I realized that I, Neil McNeill, one of the most stubborn and prideful humans was loved. I knew that everything would alright. God would take care of Christy and me. I also realized then that I really did love this woman. Wow, Dad, I guess I never realized just how far you came to find God. For some people like, Rev. Grantland, faith in God was something given to them early on. For others like me and many others in the cove God needed to be pretty drastic to get us to open our eyes. So Dad, when did you tell Mom that you loved her for the first time? Did she realize how you felt about her? Fathers expression grew soft at the memory. At the time of the epidemic your mother had come close to agreeing to marry Grantland. Apparently when I was spilling my guts to the Lord, I also spoke about my feelings for your mother. In her feverish coma, she heard. Later she told me that was what had made her comeback. She knew I loved her and needed her. While she was recuperating from the typhoid your mother and I got to spend a lot of quiet time together. We began to court once she was out of bed. After about three months I proposed to her. Our favorite place to walk was by the river. One beautiful moon lit night we were walking. We stopped at a still pool; you could see the stars and moon reflected in the water. It was chilly; I stood behind your mother and wrapped my arms around her. She nestled against my chest. Standing there I realized that I never wanted to stop to holding her. She felt so right in my arms and in my heart. She loved my people as fiercely as I did. Moreover, I knew she loved me. I found myself no longer wanting to live in an empty cabin. So I asked her to share my life with me. Your mother sighed, a quiet wisp of a sound, yes. I felt so full of joy and so full of peace. I had found a loving father in God and in your mother a loving wife. I finally felt I was truly whole. My eyes grew misty as Father opened that part of himself to me. I knew he loved Mother. They had never been shy about being affectionate in front of us children. We grew up secure in the knowledge of our parents love for each other and us. Dad, how did Grandma and Grandpa Huddelston react to your proposal? Father laughter bubbled up, “Not very well at first. They were understandably concerned that I would not be able to provide for their daughter. As we grew to know each other and they saw your mothers dedication to the people of the cove and our dedication to each other they accepted it. In time they saw me as a son instead of some wild mountain man who kidnapped their daughter. I loved your Grandparents and Uncle George very much. I laughed as I imagined Father scooping my mother up on to the back of a horse and riding off into the sunset with her. There was still more that I needed to find out. Dad what about David and Alice, how did they react to your marriage? “Alice was very glad to see us married. At first she had seen my interest in your mother as a slap in the face to Margarets memory. But gradually she changed her mind. Alice saw in your mother someone after her own heart. She began to look on her as another daughter. Our marriage added a son to that. If anything your mother helped to mend my relationship with Alice. I loved her like a second mother. As for David, it took a long time but eventually we became friends. He realized that your mother and I were meant for each other. With my newfound faith in God, I actively became involved in the work of the mission. We became uneasy allies and then stronger friends. Eventually he married an old friend of his from Boston. Not too long afterwards, he moved back there. He had a growing ministry till World War I. David felt he was being called overseas. He followed the call though it cost him his life. Fathers eyes were misty and his voice began to tire. He yawned. “I guess I am not as young as I used to be. I think I need a nap. As he stood I walked over and hugged him tightly. Thank you Dad, I love you. “I love you too, little lass. A name I had not heard since my school days. In my heart for the first time I felt I truly knew my father. As he slowly walked inside, I took in the scene before me. The autumn sun had painted the mountains in golds and russets. The peaks of those mountains reminded me of my parents. Strong and complex. The more you explored them, the more you discovered. I sighed a contented sigh and watched the sunset. I now had the rest of the story to be told. The End.