Fear and Loathing in Corvallis. (written about 1993) After tearing myself away from a second reading of my hero Hunter S. Thompsons book The Great Shark Hunt, I load my book bag backpack with the necessary papers and trudge toward school to attend my evening philosophy class. The class is Death And Dying and consists of discussion and conscious contemplation, of death and ones own mortality. Very Heavy Stuff, even on the best of nights, I would much rather stay home and horizontally contemplate the insane hallucinatory world of my hero or one of his many alter egos. Halfway to class, in a concrete apartment house driveway on twenty-eighth street, I spot what appears to be a crushed and scattered G. I Joe toy doll. One of the small, colorful plastic figurines that kids can carry in their pocket. Always one in search of toys, I take time to collect the pieces, marveling at my good fortune. I love a find, I love free things, and these green and black pieces are free, a find, and a toy to boot. Oh, yes! As I collect the pieces in my left hand, I hold a little head, an arm, green legs, and both sections of the black torso. Its like picking berries, this little pile, and after looking around quickly, for I am late now, I head to class chuckling with glee. As I swing along I start to reconstruct my find and whats this? This little head looks familiar, it has the easily recognizable features of Raoul Duke, AKA: Hunter S. Thompson! The macabre, bald, sun glassed, cigar smoking face grins at me from my palm. On the tiny black t-shirt the figure is clothed in, are emblazoned the words Death Before Unconsciousness. This is clearly a message from God. My mind flaps in the breeze like a ragged sheet, the flag of some forgotten army. What could this possibly mean? My difficulty in interpretation is further compounded by the absence of a right arm for the figure. What does this absence mean? I am confounded, my brain sputters and misses like the faulty engine of an untuned Japanese motorcycle. The message, the doll, the motto, the missing arm the finding of the figure of an author of a book I am reading, the motto in relation to the class I am heading for, whoa is me, this is too much, too heavy, for a mind such as mine. Later I ponder the prophetic significance of all these things with Barbara. Barbara is an artist Im in love with. A psycho-therapist would say, living with her is an attempt to give my eccentricity legitimacy, but what do those sick, crazed bastards know about Life and Loving anyway? They live in a world they make-up and try to project on others lives....but...,hold it...,Im getting a little far afield, the point is simply that Barbara is beautiful, intelligent, a gifted artist, with artistic Insight, and if there is any sense to be made of all this, she can help. Together we decide that it is the hand of my God, reaching, mocking, leading, making fun of me, and most importantly, laughing with me, through an alternative window of Reality. This doll, and the bizarre nature of its finding, are examples of Cosmic Coincidence, those coincidences I hate, because they shake the very foundation of my atheism. This makes perfect sense. The missing arm is a sign that I need to write, right/write, right! The motto on the small shirt, I should claim as my own. Death Before Unconsciousness. Hunter might say, When the Shit Rain starts to fall, its best to have more than the twisted, partial protection of a damaged Voodoo doll. Its best to have the total protection of a twisted, ravaged mind, heightened by a plentitude of modern, chemical intensifiers. Dam the torpedoes! When the going gets tough, the tough look for signs and signals from Other Worlds. Thats all very well, and seems to work good for Hunter, but my motto is my protection, Death Before Unconsciousness, and well, the broken toy doll helps, of course, which I pack everywhere. (The only apology I might offer for any of this writing, is that I was younger than, and God often sent me messages that I wanted to hear.) (And Barbara, or course. Its always nice to see her again!)
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 14:48:02 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015