Fear is an illusion. A very powerful illusion, but it is still just an illusion. My recent fears or times that I could have been afraid... When I saw my engagement and the chance to be married falling apart. I was struck by fear. I feared losing the one I loved. Well I lost her and I am still alive and doing well. Interesting how fear can make things look so much worse then they are in reality and of course fear is a creation of our own thoughts. I had a mild fear before I came to the Philippines in September that I am here on my own and potential challenges could be more than I could deal with. But I have drawn from my own lifes experiences to know that I can survive pretty much anything if I need to. Ive been asked a number of times here if I am not afraid walking alone in the streets at all hours. No, I am not. Some guy asked me if I was afraid of anything and I couldnt think of anything. I am not afraid of death. That used to be a big fear of mine when I was younger and I have since come to terms with death and I will embrace it the same as I embrace life. Right now, I have a few dollars at best in change to last me 5 days until I get a little money coming in to last me one week until I get a little more to last me a few days and then I get my monthly income at the end of the month to budget for next month. I basically spent my food budget this month in order to send my ex fiance home and then a failed attempt to win her back to which I have no regret. I would have regretted not trying. I believe I can stretch out the food that I do have and I am not fearful about running out of food because my emergency rations are wrapped around my waist. LOL. But that is so true and I could probably go for many weeks without eating but please dont worry because I do have some food to eat each day. I am in fact happy that this has happened to me because it allows me to do a reality check and I am not troubled by this at all. Again experience is there to remind me I have lived under much worse circumstances in the past and I am still here. I even bumped into Nicholas, the one who I help from time to time by giving him food usually and gave him a little money of what I had left. I am so at ;peace with myself. It is unbelievable. Its simply Melsome. Of course, I still have to take steps to boost my income because I do have the ability to do so in order to live better if I so choose or to do more to help;others. But I do not live in fear. As to the fear of loss in regards to relationships, today I have come to terms with it. It, too, is an illusion. My focus my whole life has been too much on the outcome instead of the journey as some friends pointed out to me today so I will focus now on the journey... on the now... the present moment and everything is going to be just fine. I will no longer allow fear in any of its disguises to have any more influence on my whatsoever and I can already feel the liberating affects of such a decision. Live and Love with Passion! Live Life Abundantly! Blessings & Love to you and yours! Mel
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 15:03:31 +0000
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